Thursday, February 23, 2017

Somewhere Between Masculine and Feminine

Let's talk about the grey. No, I'm not talking about the book nor the movie Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm talking about the grey gender area I and many other folk live in. Whether you like it or not, we were all born into a gender binary system of two distinct, opposite and disconnected forms of masculine and feminine. Some of us are, for the most part, happy living in the grey area, that area where we have the freedom to express all aspects of our gender identity at any given time regardless of our external presentation.

It's no secret that I display my gender expression on the internet and out in the real world. I've made it a point to not hide my masculine nor feminine side. I've had the same corporate job since 2003 where I present as male but where my coworkers know of my femme side. I've built and run a freelance makeover service since 2013 where I present either as male or female. I go out on the town on my spare time as male or female. I've also presented either male of female when dating. When I'm simply hanging out at home you can find me on any given day wearing my tight jeans and ballerina flats.

I know folks living in the grey area aren't as comfortable expressing both sides in the presence of others as I. That's why a great number of my clients who seek male-to-female makeovers from me are very much in the closet about their femme self to their loved ones and employers. I get it. Some people out there are so stuck on this gender binary idea that they have no clue about folks who live in the grey area like me and my clients. To them a person living in the grey area must be confused. If they weren't confused then we genderfluid and pangender folk would obviously pick one side of the spectrum, right? Wrong.

If you ask a naturally masculine person to stop being masculine and to start being and feeling feminine they will most likely tell you it doesn't feel right to them. So obviously a naturally masculine man begins to believe that because he was "born a man" and he feels masculine then all men should feel the way he does.  Consequently any biological man who doesn't naturally feel masculine all the time starts to believe that there must be something "wrong" with him.  Let me tell you dude, there is nothing wrong with you.  You simply have the ability to tap into the realm outside of masculinity.

I know this can confuse people when it comes to what they find attractive.  For example, when men tell me "I want to get to know you," from experience,  I'm not sure they are ready to learn the reality of the life a gender fluid individual as myself leads.  You see, generally speaking gay identifying males are attracted to masculine men, and straight identifying males who are open to dating trans women are attracted to feminine individuals.  So when someone asks me, "what do you like to do for fun?"  what I like to do and how I look doing it can be a bit of a head scratcher to some guys.

I enjoy doing lots of physical activities, from kayaking, hiking, playing tennis, and wall climbing.  I also have an artistic side where I enjoy drawing and painting,  attending the Opera, and even loved jamming with my bros in my old rock band back in the day.

I also really enjoy lifting weights.

A post shared by Adrian Acosta (@amnesiasparkles) on

Just like I love the above things I also love when I'm able to have a Girl's Night Out

And I love when I get dolled up in a new outfit to perform male-to-female makeovers

I'm as comfortable in a three piece suit as I am in a corset

I feel equally as sexy in a jockstrap as I do in a lacy thong and garter belt.

I'm just as happy on a Saturday as I am on Sunday

Yes, it's true I am in the process of getting electrolysis treatments to permanently remove my facial hair.  Just between you and I, I would much much rather my face and body have no hair.  To me a smooth body feels wonderful to the touch and it makes getting into femme a bit smoother, pun intended ;-) 

Like many things in life most things are not black and white, including Gender expression.  So next time you witness someone who doesn't fit nicely in the binary gender box created by society know that they are expressing things in a way you may not be accustomed to witnessing but at the core they are expressing something universal to all of us, including you.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Shopping in the Woman's Section

​What if I told you nobody cares?

No please, we do care, please continue reading.

One of the biggest fears a crossdresser has is going shopping in the women's section of a department store. It is completely ludicrous to think that a physical space can be divided into two, ONLY two genders, male and female. Yet department stores around the world subscribe to this notion: A male section and a woman's section.  Women have been wearing pants for decades yet in 2017 for a man to wear a dress is still taboo. Sure, a man can order a dress online but as we learned from the Gender Fun community on Facebook  you can never tell how the dress will fit unless you try it on in the dressing room.

I believe that at the core of the fear that comes from a man shopping in the woman's section is that they will be thought of as a pervert. Yet we think of a woman shopping in the men's section as if she were shopping for her boyfriend or husband. This gender bias is subconscious yet evident to those who cross the gender barrier. Although most of us in the Western world live in a binary gender system, we seem to find ourselves in a gender system that only works one way when it comes to shopping for women's clothes. Women seem to have the upper hand and can shop in both male and female sections of a department store, while men can only shop in the men's section otherwise they might seem deviant.

There is a lot of talk recently about gender inequality when it comes to wages for females in the workplace yet there is very little talk about inequality when it comes to men having the right to shop, without judgment, in the women's section of a department store.  News flash, some men like to buy and wear women's clothing.

But what if I told you no-one cares if a man is shopping in the women's section.  What if I told you sales clerks are bored out of their minds in their day-to-day routines and would welcome a little excitement in their lives?  What if that excitement was the prospect of a man looking for a dress that fits him so perfectly that it made him feel like a beautiful woman?

Yes, there have been online article about how to shop if you are transgender, and about dudes who like to shop in the women's section and how it's not a drag thing, but at the end of the day what we need to remember is the fact that the gender binary is ludicrous and that a man wanting to purchase female things is no big deal.

So next time you find yourself wanting to check out what's new in the woman's section in a department store don't hold yourself back, go there and check it out.  You might just find something that is sooo YOU.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Adele on Promiscuity

After watching last night's Grammy ceremony I have come to the conclusion that not only is the United States of America dealing with collective emotional pain, it may also be highly sexually frustrated and in need of some good sexual stress relief.  

Last night Adele paid tribute to the late George Michael by singing his song "Fastlove."  She had a rocky start to say the least.  Music experts may tell you she was probably off key or off tune at the start, so naturally when she reached the chorus she fell apart.  She stopped the performance on Live television.  You could sense her huge disappointment in herself.  But she didn't walk off the stage with her tail between her legs.  She started the song again and finished triumphantly.  

Her fumble however wasn't the topic of conversation amongst at least two homosexual men on social media.  Instead her performance was seen as a social/political statement.  

Here are a couple of posts from my Facebook feed of two gay men in their thirties. One is a Republican and the other is a Democrat. Yes, I'm friends with both. 

I understand their differing points of view but to be honest, I thought last night Adele gave the George Michael song a whole new meaning, not just in its arrangement but also in that derailment towards the beginning and subsequent getting back on the horse. (Just to be clear, there was no train and no horse on stage...nor elephant nor donkey either)
George Michael was taken from us too soon. You might even say it's as if he gave us some "Fast Love," and then...he was gone. George made his "way into the light" as the song says, and those very last words in the song "I miss my baby," still resonate in the hearts of his fans.

Here is my reply to my first friend above: 

"I think the interesting thing about the lyrics to Fastlove is that at the core of the song is a person that wants to leave the pain behind and simply have a gay 'ol time. That's why Adele's pain filled performance hit that cord. Clearly it may have left folks longing for something a bad one night stand often does. So in my eyes your unhappiness with the song selection, in a way, makes the performance a success."

Which brings me back to the emotional state of the nation.  What better time than now to carve out some time each week to get a little Fastlove in order to deal with the current emotional pain?  Scientists to this day keep researching the benefits of having sex.  Although, I believe we must continue to do A LOT more research on the subject here are some potential benefit of getting it on tonight.

- Sex Relieves Stress
- Sex Boosts Immunity
- Sex Burns Calories
- Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health
- Sex Boosts Self-Esteem
- Sex Improves Intimacy
- Sex Reduces Pain
- Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
- Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles
- Sex Helps You Sleep Better

Of course some folks would rather a friend-with-benefits instead of a one-night-stand, and other folks as we learned from asking the Gender Fun community on FB, would like a deeper sexual connection.  
(to see responses click LINK)

Whatever the case may be there is no doubt in my mind that now more than ever it wouldn't hurt to get a bit of Fastlove.  If you're not up for "performing" or things seem to take a turn for the worst, just remember that you get a second chance.  Often times it's better the second time around.

Now, go get-it-on baby! 

ps - Don't forget the foreplay