Thursday, September 15, 2016

I Learned to Surrender On My Way Home



I have a client in my make up chair.  She has her eyes closed.  My makeup brush gently caresses her eyelid.  The dark pigment slowly turns her pale skin into a smoky shade of midnight.  Her shoulders descend as she releases the stresses of the day.  She takes a deep breath.  It's clear to me that she is going through an internal transformation as I transform her outward appearance from male-to-female.

Her lips part as if to say something.  She pauses. Still with eyes shut.  She inhales and says "so, I had a weird dream the other night." She pauses yet again.  I say "mmmhmm?"  She finds reassurance in my utterance, and is off on her story telling adventure.

I am walking home from work one Autumn evening, she says. Both hands are holding grocery bags.  These aren't any ordinary grocery bags.  If you ask me, I would not be able to describe the physical objects inside the bags; however, I have a knowing of what each item inside the bags represent.  I am carrying my youth, my responsibilities, my expectations, my aspirations, my social status, everything that I have accumulated over the years, THAT which makes me believe I am, and need to continue being, the person that I am.  

It is a long walk home and the bags start to get really heavy.  I begin to talk to myself.  I ask myself why am I doing this?  I tell myself this is ridiculous. Wouldn't it be easier to hail a cab?  This way someone else can help me ease the burden of carrying all these things home with me.  But I keep putting one foot in front of the other, as if I am on autopilot.   Old habits die hard.

That's when I hear a stern voice.  This time the voice doesn't come from within me.  In front of me is a shadowy figure holding a gun to my face.  "This is a stick-up" he says with a desperate tone in his voice. I freeze.  My heart starts to race.  My hands clench the bags even tighter.  I feel as if my world is about to change.

The voice demands that I put my hands up.  I hesitate. I don't want to give up everything I've worked so hard to attain.  How would I ever regain everything which meant so much to me?  

I feel time slow down to a crawl.  I know now that if I don't surrender it may be the end of me.  I gently lower the heavy bags to the ground, and I gracefully raise my hands over my head.  In an instant the shadowy figure is gone, and with it my bags.  

Instantly I feel a great sense of loss.  I beat myself up for not putting up a fight.  I am distraught.  The sadness turns into anger and when my heart reaches a point where it can no longer beat any faster I begin to sob.  

I lower my hands to my side. I draw my gaze to the ground where my bags were once sitting. I look at my feet that are still there and plea them to please take me home.  

I blink and realize that once again one foot is going in front of the other.  I don't know how I find myself still walking home.  This time my hands are empty.  I start to feel lighter.  Although I mourn my loss with every step my feet take I know that the unfortunate event that happened to me is now in the past.  

I reach the twelve steps to my front door.  I climb them one by one.  I stick my key in the lock, turn my wrist, and slowly push the door open.  I am home.  That's when I woke up, feeling grateful for still being alive.




By the time my client is done telling her dream saga I have finished her makeover.  She no longer resembles the burly man who had walked into my studio.  She opens her eyes and stares into the mirror.  She sees a beautiful woman that is very happy to be alive.  She is home. 


Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Men vs Women, Who can Show their Underwear in Public

Hello dear ready, 

we here at GenderFun did an unofficial poll as to who can show their underwear in public, Men vs women.



As you can see from the LIKES on our Facebook page women favored over men.

Men
click link
https://www.facebook.com/GenderFun/posts/560273504097663




vs

Women

click link https://www.facebook.com/GenderFun/photos/a.245016165623400.1073741830.221597304631953/560494510742229/?type=3&theater

What do you think?  Should men or women show their underwear in public?

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Are YOU A Liar?




Let's talk about social norms 
There is no denying that having some social norms can be beneficial to all civilization, but some social norms can hinder those of us who live on the fringe of society. 

If you are gender variant, non-binary, gender fluid, or anyone who doesn't adhere to the gender social norms of the times you know what I'm talking about. Social norms can sometimes feel restrictive, and  for a lack of better word, they can feel like a Prison.  As such, breaking "out of prison," metaphorically speaking, can be exhilarating!

To better illustrate how amazing it can feel to break out of this social construct and mental prison  let's take a look at three actresses playing the role of moms. Moms that get tired of trying to be "perfect parents." As you can see, they simply stopped caring about social norms at some point in the movie. Here's a scene that pretty much sums it up


What is this movie about? 

A woman with a seemingly perfect life - a great marriage, overachieving kids, beautiful home, stunning looks and still holding down a career. However she's over-worked, over committed and exhausted to the point that she's about to snap. Fed up, she joins forces with two other over-stressed moms and all go on a quest to liberate themselves from conventional responsibilities, going on a wild un-mom like binge of freedom, fun and self-indulgence - putting them on a collision course with PTA Queen Bee Gwendolyn and her clique of devoted perfect moms.

Here is the official trailer 

I think we can all relate to what these women are going through even if we don't have kids ourselves. It's this notion of "Keeping up with the Joneses."


In the words of sweet brown: ain't nobody got time for that.


You can keep playing to the notion of other people's perception of you, or you can slowly start introducing how you really feel, and how life really feels to you.  When you do so you'll start noticing that your interactions with people will begin to feel fresh, new, more "authentic."  As if you crossed over to another realm.  In short, you will be stepping out of the ordinary.

Now, addressing my non-binary brothers and sisters.

Who's to say how a male should act? Who's to say how a female should act?  Scientifically speaking, if it takes half the chromosomes of a man and half the chromosomes of a woman to create us are we not at least 50% entitled to act like either sex at any given moment?

We are all half man half woman!  Be fabulous and authentic in any of your gender expressions regardless of social norm. 

Sure, not everybody will celebrate or agree with your view on life and how you feel, but that simply comes with the territory of expressing one's most inner being.

if you're gender variant there is a chance someone will perceive you to be a "Trap."   That is a perception many of us have to deal with on a daily bases.  Just because they may perceive us as "lying" doesn't mean we are not expressing a part of ourselves we may not usually show to the world.

We are all always walking a fine line between expressing ourselves and being considerate for the state of mind of others, that is the true dance of being alive. 


You are Alive. Dance. Live.  Express yourself! and Let the chips fall where they may. 

You can handle anything life throws your way.