Too High on Toxic Masculinity

What: Conversation with an apparent Internet Troll suffering from Toxic Masculinity
When: 3/19/19
Where: Comments section on one of MY Instagram pics (seen above)


Before we dive into the actual conversation, trust me you're gonna want to read this one, let me just say this:

I lost count how many times he mentioned that I'm a man.
Mind you, I said to him "I never claimed to be a woman."

He simply can't seem to wrap his mind around the motivation for a man to wear feminine attire EVEN after I told him I wear feminine attire simply "because I like it."

He brushes off his comments by saying they are "boyish antics"

But then the picture starts to get clearer.  He seems to have a problem with Gays and Transgender people.  My guess is that he sees them as "less than."


So why did I take time to address this?  More on that after the conversation.

It all started with an Instagram user by the name of kaleviheinonen leaving a comment in reference to my above selfies.  Then that's where username soirlweed chimed in to point out that I am a "dude."  Then... well...check it out.

kaleviheinonen
Beautiful Girls 💖💖

soirlweed
@kaleviheinonen busted!!!😂😂😂 yo thats a dude my guy 😂😂😂😂😂

amnesiasparkles
@soirlweed it doesn’t bother me that @kaleviheinonen thinks I’m a beautiful girl. Does it bother you?

soirlweed
@amnesiasparkles "thinks" but your in fact a man 😂 im sure it doesnt "bother" you that he fell for your costume, if I we're to guess, I would say you dress like a woman to fool people into thinking your a woman, otherwise why the getup???😂

amnesiasparkles
@soirlweed I’m pretty transparent about who I am. I have a blog and have posted videos on YouTube explaining why I dress. You’re welcome to watch them if you’re curious.

soirlweed
@amnesiasparkles "transparentcy"? Your name is not likey to be amnesia sparkles, your a man, impersonating a woman. Wheres the transparency?

amnesiasparkles
@soirlweed my name is clearly stated on my profile Adrian Acosta. What’s your name?

soirlweed
@amnesiasparkles my page anonomous for a reason my guy. I was just givin the guy @kaleviheinonen I had no clue he was a homo

amnesiasparkles
@soirlweed I wonder why your page would be anonymous. And just because @kaleviheinonen leaves a comment thinking I’m beautiful doesn’t make him a homo. He might simply like to look at feminine people. If you like girls you would know what I’m talking about.

soirlweed
@amnesiasparkles amazing really, the reason my page is anonomous is a plant that can grow world wide is illegal 2019, even tho you can claim to be a woman even tho your a man and gain access to these gender specific safe places. Crazy I know..... oh my dude just called a guy beautiful, hes gay 😂 he might be almost as confused as you but hes for sure gay my dude

amnesiasparkles
@soirlweed I never claimed to be a woman and you seem to have a problem with your dude telling someone that they are beautiful. I wonder why that would bother you when it has nothing to do with you.

soirlweed
@amnesiasparkles the guy called you a girl?🤔 why are you dressed like a woman? Now your confusing me 😂

amnesiasparkles
@soirlweed I had a feeling you were confused. I know why I dress the way I do. Because I like it. Do you like the way you dress? Do you dress the way you want or are you afraid that if you tried on something different that other guys might make fun of you?

soirlweed
@amnesiasparkles maybe your right, im gonna bust up in my girlfriends panties right now my dude 😂 its the only answer to avoid boyish antics like making fun of clothes... wow your deluted, it doest matter what you wear, kids make fun, thats what they do, havnt you ever hearf the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". Its an oldy but goody and could do wonders for you

amnesiasparkles
@soirlweed oh well, in that case if you're ok with people making fun of other people, with "sticks and stones," then it won't bother you if people think you're a coward and a closeted homo when I tell my thousands of followers that you left comments on my Instagram pic. Why else would you make yourself known to me if you didn’t secretly want to get with me? Pretty girls probably don’t give you the time of day. Sorry little boy.

soirlweed
@amnesiasparkles go for it, your missing the point, i could give two shits if a man dressed like a woman wants to call me a closet homo for not considering you to be a "pretty woman", I cant help but notice your need to keep seeking aproval as a pretty woman, all things considering it makes perfect sense 😂 you are man, just deal with it dude. Iv spent far too much time here and ill agree its a little weird 😂 ya gotta love that logic, pretty girls dont have time for me so here i am chatting to a big burly dude who dresses like a woman, tuckin your nuts in like buffalo bill 😂 classic, ill also let you know i will be using this golden material on my comedy page, ill be sure to tag you in 👌

amnesiasparkles
@soirlweed you clearly don’t know me. You first think that I think that I’m a woman, you’re wrong on that count. I never said I was a woman. then you think I need validation from you of all people. Incorrect again. You seem to be a confused. I don’t think you know where you are dude. Im starting to wonder if you have any idea of what it is to be a man.

soirlweed
@amnesiasparkles bro your an imposter, a man who dresses up like a woman so you can be consisered if only on occasion a woman... you keep insinuating this conversation is only taking place because im upset you we're called a pretty girl, youve not stated that isnt the case as of yet? Why dress like a woman then? If your not trying to impersonate? Can we at least agree on some fundamentals, as in the fact transgenderism is a mental disorder?

amnesiasparkles
@soirlweed Why does it make you uncomfortable for me to post on my Insta a pic of me dress in feminine clothing? How does that even affect your life? And so what if some guys find me attractive? What's it to you? Some guys like feminine people. Are you attracted to masculine people or feminine people? How masculine are you? Oh, that's right I don't know because you're too afraid to show your face.

There you have it.

Let's not brush this off as "oh it's just another internet troll getting his kicks."  This is a good example of the type of mentality that is part of a culture that limits boys and young men in how they choose to express themselves.  Condoning this type of "boyish antics" from (let's call them what they are) bullies, does a disservice to our society.   Don't take my word for it, just watch the documentary The Mask You Live In for statistics on how we are failing our boys and young men in America.

I'm an adult who has had their share of these types of encounters so I know how to maneuver around them, but boys and young men are still experiencing this type of bulling.  Bulling that is based on social posturing, domination, and that uses the gender binary as a crutch to discriminate against those who present and express themselves outside the traditional gender norms.

If you have kids, especially boys, now is a good time to remind them that trolling someone on the internet will not make them a "man."    It will not make them cool.  It will not make them better than someone else.  It will just make them a troll.

If they want to become a man, or better yet, a contributing member of society, they will put in the time and effort to understand others and reach out and help in their time of need.  They will treat men, women, and anyone in-between with respect.  Simply put, they will subscribe to the Golden Rule:

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Hopefully this has been an educational moment.

Thanks for reading
-A

Femme Party Time!

This past Saturday night was incredibly fun. I threw a private party at my place. Only the girls to whom I've given makeovers were invited. Some girls came dressed but most got dolled up at my place. It was like being in the dressing room of the Rockettes but kinkier!

We had way too much wine, laughs, hors d'oeuvre, dancing, wine spilling, asses hanging out, pizza, and more laughs. We hung out in the backyard and even took a trip to the roof to take in the Manhattan skyline.

Outfit I wore for the party I threw for my clients.

Two girls drove in from NJ and one even flew in from TEXAS for the party! Since these girls are top secret here's a pic of me with 4 of the 8 that were able to make it to this very special FIRST Gender Fun Femme party.

The next party is scheduled for April 20th, the day after my 40th birthday!

I love them so much! ps - that hand on my boob is from Lisa. She cracks me up!

btw here's is what one of the girls had to say about the party

You missed an incredible party!!! When -Amnesia greeted me at the door she looked ravishingly radiant and as pretty as I’ve seen her!

There were about 4 or 5 other girls there when I showed up. An hour later everyone was settled in and getting acquainted. -Amnesia was like the best host ever, she got everyone to loosen up and once everything got going we were getting into so many wild, hilarious, and deep conversations!

I think I left around 4:30am 😮.

Rememeber how you asked me about CDI? This was like that but -Amnesia’s version, meaning totally awesome!!! Everyone is vetted because we are all clients and it’s so much fun because every girl was unique in their story, personality, and qualities!!!

Two Sexy Asian Girls, More than Meets the Eyes

Two of my favorite MTF girls Diane and Janie joined forces for the first time in February 2019 and they blew me away!  I did their makeup and then took these sensual images.  

After, I asked them a few questions. I'm sure you will find their answers interesting.  

Here are Janie's answers.  (Janie is the sexy dark-haired beauty in the pics)

1. What's your earliest memory of crossdressing and how old were you?

There are two “phases” of my dressing (but a lot in between)—an Oreo cookie is the way to picture it. When I was 4 or 5 years old, my grandmother dressed me up in white tights for a photo and I loved the feeling of the tights! 

When I was 21, I was living on my own having landed my first “real” job and that was when I tried going 100% en-femme and that’s when I fell in love with trying to be as passable as possible with clothing and makeup. I probably looked ridiculous but it was like hitting puberty for the second time—the feeling of femininity and exploration of parts of me that were considered socially taboo was a tremendous learning experience. 

The irony is that all of these “feminine” labels in terms of lingerie and makeup are all social constructions of the modern age. If you look at nature, it’s many times that the male can be considered “beautiful” and alluring (peacocks, lions, etc.), but I digress…

2. You are both Family Men, married to biological women and each have a small child.  Did you tell your wife about your crossdressing before or after you got married? 

I had neither a great deal of dating nor sexual experience before I was married. My girlfriend at the time, who happens to be my spouse, knew this. We were making out heavily for the first time and she became flustered and commented that she was very skeptical about my claims of lack of experience and she asked where I learned to kiss. I told her that my secret was that I had some help and that it was the fact that I enjoyed wearing women’s lingerie on occasion and, while dressed, I often imagined how to make out to a beautiful woman. I think she was amused and also took pity on me—common themes in our relationship to this day.

It was much later on in our marriage and after we had a child that I came out to her about Janie and all that it entails. She didn’t bat an eye and asked, “Are you gay?” The inquisitiveness and open-mindedness of my spouse turned that one question into a series of positive dialogue where we both explored and learned about each other and our marriage. It’s still a work in progress.

3. Does your family, friends, and coworkers know of your crossdressing?

My spouse knows about Janie. I go to a transgender group a handful of times per year and have made some friends, I’ve gone out in public a few times, and of course, Adrian and Diane know about Janie.

4. Have the folks who know about this side of you expressed how they feel about your crossdressing?

My spouse thinks I still look ridiculous yet has given me pointers and comportment tips and has refined how I present as Janie. Is it a covert ploy to get me to buy her more handbags? She’s smarter than me so I would never know.

5. Was this the first time you've ever done a dual crossdressing makeover/photoshoot?

Yes!

6. How did you feel before, during, and after the shoot?

This was my third photoshoot with Adrian who is so welcoming and awesome that I felt totally comfortable. Also, when you’re shooting with someone so pretty like Diane it was so much fun!

7. What is your favorite memory of the shoot?

The improvisation and great chemistry between all three of us. It was so organic, sensual, and time flew by.

8. Why do you think so many folks who crossdress are in the closet?

Humans are pack animals and it’s much easier to survive as a “male” in our labeled society by wearing jeans and a t-shirt than express oneself the “wrong” way with stockings and pair of 4” stilettos.

Also, until fairly recently, it was much harder to get information, share ideas, and connect with similar people so individuals who crossdressed were much more isolated, confused, and repressed. 

We’re living in amazing times and hopefully society gets its head out of its ass. I’m an optimist and I’m confident it will.

9. There are numerous Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender popular figures today yet very few popular Crossdressers why do you think that is? 

Crossdressing is a super-broad, multi-faceted label which blows people’s minds. When you go to the store, people have trouble picking out which olive oil to buy even though the choices are determined by someone who probably doesn’t wear a pair of Wolford and Stuart Weitzman thigh-highs (this is a subtle birthday wish list). A way to speed things up in terms of progress is for Marc Jacobs to design the Pope’s ordinary dress and for the Pope to totally rock it.

10. If you could give someone who crossdresses one piece of advice what would it be?

Don’t live vicariously through others; be inspired to go on your own journey because life is very precious and it’s your chance to make it exciting for yourself and those around you.