Monday, December 8, 2014

Social Pressure to Adhere to Gender Roles

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This past Saturday I did a MTF Transformation on a new transgender client who is contemplating starting the male-to-female transition process (hormone treatment etc). She was so thrilled to see her femme self staring back at her in the mirror.

A great topic came up during our session, that of social pressure to adhere to ONLY ONE gender. I explained to her that growing up I was encouraged to adhere to the male gender, and now that I am public with my crossdressing, I am encouraged - by my many online admirers - to transition to being a full-time female. Ultimately I told her, you have to ignore the noise and listen to one's own internal voice. 

I'm happy living in that in-between gender space where I can go back and forth between the genders.  I explained to her that it took me a long time to become comfortable with my gender identity (gender nonconforming/gender fluid) so she (being 26 years old) ought not to pressure herself too much.

Things have a way of working out when you are kind to yourself and let yourself evolve naturally...to whatever gender/s you are ultimately meant to be.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

FEELING Like a WOMAN

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As you may know, I do male-to-female makeovers on the weekends. The other day I was asked this very interesting question

ASHLEY: What was the hardest mtf makeover u have ever done

AMNESIA: Hmmm define "hardest"

ASHLEY: Most trouble to make the most passable

AMNESIA: I've had a couple of girls that were difficult but not because they didn't look' "passable" but because they didn't take direction well. Looking and feeling feminine for the most part, believe it or not, comes from within. You have to "FEEL LIKE A WOMAN" in order for it to translate on the outside. Of course then the question is, "what does it feel like to be a woman?" The girls who take direction well from me can tell you. They feel the magic inside, and thus it transforms them on the outside. It's quite an amazing thing to witness in person. The energy of the room changes, and just like magic they come out looking very feminine in their photos.

To see some of the sexy girls I've transformed click HERE

Do you have any question? Leave them in the comments below.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

How Would U React to a Catcall on the Street?

Have you seen this video of a young lady getting catcalls on the streets of NYC?



I remember getting catcalls - 0:47 mark in the below video for example. A guy behind me screams "LOOKING GOOD!"



I guess it's not just biological women getting catcalls

I simply reacted with a smile and "BAM!" Then I proceeded to tell a girl I loved her Christian Louboutin shoes. lol

How would you react to a catcall on the street?

Friday, October 24, 2014

What Does Being STRAIGHT Mean to You?



Recently I made a video where I answered the question "Do you get hit on by straight guys?" (click above video for answer)

Sexual orientation labels no longer mean the same as they did in the past. Back in the day I would hear the term "Straight," or "Gay" and I knew what the person was talking about. Now, when I hear the term "Straight" I need some clarification. Many Male-to-Female Cross-dressers SAY they are "STRAIGHT" but that word usually comes with a fine print.

When a MTF cross-dresser says they are "Straight" sometimes what they really mean is "I am attracted to humans that are FEMININE." Both men and women can be FEMININE so they are sexually aroused by either SEX so long as the sex they are attracted to presents themselves in a FEMININE way.

Take for example what a cross-dresser said on one of my youtube videos.

"I very much am (Straight) but also enjoy dressing up en-femme and going out in public and very much enjoy masturbating whilst looking at other TVs/CDs.....I've never had the chance but I wouldn't say no to a sexual experience with a guy that looked as good a woman as you do....in-fact I think being dressed and "69ing" with another TV/CD would be a real thrill - but oddly I couldn't even consider it if I was dressed normal drab and with another drab male....how screwed up am I???? No for me female's rock, even males dressed up as females...(but not males, or females dressed as males)....."

I can't tell you the number of times I've heard the above from many MANY cross-dressers. Not all cross-dressers would be into having a penis in their mouth or in their anus but for many of them this is a fantasy they'd like to have come true so long as the penis is attached to a FEMININE human.

It's not just cross-dressers whom consider themselves STRAIGHT, there are many burly masculine men who consider themselves STRAIGHT (and do not cross-dress) yet they'd love to have same-sex encounters with a MTF cross-dresser. Still they maintain that they are STRAIGHT!

So does the label STRAIGHT mean anything any more, especially when self identifying STRAIGHT men are having same-sex sexual encounters? I say YES. "STRAIGHT" as discussed here means, "I identify as a MALE who is sexually aroused by FEMININITY." Sure, it's not your TRADITIONAL STRAIGHT MALE but then again, these STRAIGHT guys never claimed to be TRADITIONAL...not that there is anything wrong with that.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

My Wife Found My Crossdressing Pics, is My Life as I knew it Over?

Imagine you're a crossdresser and your wife is not aware that you dress like a woman and go out to bars for drinks with your crossdressing friends. Now imagine your wife accidentally finds pictures of you dressed as a woman on the home computer. She flips out! She feels betrayed and lied to.

Now imagine that cross-dressing friend confides in you, what would you say?

Would it go a little something like this?

CD: My wife saw photos (of me dressed as a woman) on my computer last night. I'm so scared now I will lose her.

FRIEND: Oh boy. Stay strong

CD: I feel sick. I can't believe I let this happen.

FRIEND: Breathe. It's going to be ok.

CD: I don't know that it will. She can't look at me she feels betrayed and questions who and what I am

FRIEND: That's expected at this stage. She needs time to process this new reality.

CD: I don't know that she will be able to process this.

FRIEND: She has to because it's reality. Let her be upset, and when she calms down you can have an eye opening conversation about this very important part of your life. Remember the marriage vows, for better or worse. These are the tough times that can make a marriage stronger. You have to guide her into this new future together.

CD: Or tear it apart. There is no future for this part of me of that I am sure

FRIEND: You have to focus on what you want and put your best foot forward. Now is not the time to think of a bad outcome.

CD: I need to make a choice and in my heart I have already made it. I have to bury this part of me or there will never be a chance of saving my marriage. If it's even salvageable.

FRIEND: Are you really going to suppress this for another 18 years AGAIN?

CD: If I have to make a choice yes I can.

FRIEND: There is nothing wrong with you. This is part of what makes you a complete individual

CD: The person I love the most in this world thinks there is something wrong with me

FRIEND: If you believe she is right then I suggest you two go to marriage counseling. The therapist will show her she is wrong. There is nothing wrong with you.

CD: It doesn't matter who's right

FRIEND: It does matter because otherwise one of you will be living in denial. I strongly suggest you both go see a therapist to smooth things out. Let me know if you need a referral.

CD: Thank you, I will let you know. But the only person she thinks needs a therapist is me.

FRIEND: That's a good starting point. After you go to a therapist for a couple of sessions the therapist will invite her to join so that she can better understand you.

What do you think this Crossdresser should do? Give up crossdressing in order to please the wife or should the Crossdresser do something else?

Friday, October 3, 2014

Inspirational Pics

New Blog

We simply LOVE THIS!

Lynn Jones, one of our fabulous GF readers, altered some of our photos. She writes:

Your post on 'get off the pot' reminded me of those spoof inspiration / Drunkspiration pictures that did the rounds. This is in a good way, I should add!! :-D Hell, if we can have motivational posters on getting tanked, why not in being fabulous? It's certainly better for your mood and your waistline. :-)

New Blog

New Blog

New Blog

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Presentation

"You look better as a woman!" those are words me and many other cross dressers like myself have heard many many times. WE ALL have the choice to present ourselves, adorn our bodies, how we choose. Because it's still not acceptable to walk out of the house naked we have to choose how we dress every morning when we get out of bed.

Most women will wear women's clothes. Most men will wear men's clothes. Crossdressers will wear BOTH! And thus, people who know a crossdresser as a man and as a woman will have an opinion as to which of your gender presentation they fancy the most. It really is an interesting feeling being on the receiving end of a comment such as "You look better as a woman!"

Me, I try to have fun with both genders not really worrying weather I look better as one or the other...because, lets face it, we all look pretty good to someone else once they've had enough to drink.

As a Woman


As a Man

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

A Crossdresser's Sexuality

I was covering Wigstock so as to write an article for NEXT Magazine back in 2005 when I learned of what a crossdresser is. She told me her name was Rebecca and although he was a man dressed like a woman she told me she was not gay. This of course had me a bit confused but over the years my confusion diminished.

One of the biggest issues many cross dressers have is that somewhere along the line they started to believe that they were heterosexuals. They also started subscribing to the notion that boys ought not to like girly stuff. The combination of these two ideologies does quite the number on a Crossdresser’s mind. This conflict most always brings with it a breakdown of sorts. Usually culminating in a “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality. Which THEM am I referring to? Depends at what stage of Crossdressing the person is in.

Growing up the term “THEM” is usually used by children to describe adults. It’s the adults that tell a young excited boy he ought to like “Boy things” and not “Girl things.” The child is left confused, hurt, and feeling as if his voice is not heard by adults. “Don’t MY needs and wishes matter?” thinks the child. "How can I be “WRONG” in liking something that makes me happy?” “Is it WRONG for me to be happy?” “Should I suck it up and resign myself to doing what THEY want me to do? Should I sacrifice my self-expression because it makes THEM unhappy?” “What’s the big deal anyway?” “ How is me wanting to dress like a girl hurting anyone?”

We are typically raised in a heterosexual world so it's no surprise many Crossdressers believe themselves to be heterosexual for years before they come to terms with their sexuality. The reality is that most crossdressers are "technically" bisexual. You see what most crossdressers have in common is that they LOVE femininity. This means many crossdressers, although they are not usually attracted to men who look like men, ARE attracted to men who look and dress like women. It is no surprise many crossdressers will engage in sexual activity with members of the same sex especially if their parter present as female.

There are some cases where the Crossdresser will engage in sex with a man who looks like man, but it's not as common. Usually when this happens both men are not usually involed in the "gay community" because although the sex act is gay its between a man and another man who is dressed like a woman. So it resembles heterosexual sex.

Gay culture is unique. I can't tell you the number of times I've talked to cross dressers who express how they are not comfortable in a "gay environment." Gays have their own rules of etiquette, their own lingo. Usually, cross dressers have a limited knowledge of such because they are are not submerged in that world. And so because the crossdresser is not submerged in the "gay world" they mostly feel heterosexual.

Simultaniously because gay men are submerged in the "gay world" or "gay culture" they have a hard time understanding cross dressers. Gay men's reference point of a man dressing as a woman is that of a drag queen, someone that is bitchy, loud, and commands attention. The crossdresser usually doesn't fit that bill. The crossdresser simply wants to be seen and treated as a woman and not some kind of wild drag queen. Crossdressing and Drag, although have many similarities, are fundamentally different in the energies they carry.

In conclusion, although no one really cares about labels, please know that you are wrong to call a crossdresser gay or straight. Most Cross dressers live in the in-between world of sexuality where things are more fluid. Not everything is black and white in life, cross dressing is a perfect example of the grey area so many are happy to live in.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Out on the Town in Femme Testimonial

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Recently we've discussed how fantastic it feels to go out on the town all dolled up. Today I bring you a testimonial from a beautiful GenderFun reader. She writes

Hi Adrian,
In light of your last few blog posts I felt compelled to share a picture. I've known I enjoyed cross-dressing since I was a teenager, but it's only been in the last few years that I've started going out in public ( now that I'm in my 30s). I've been fortunate to have a supportive wife and some supportive friends; which I know many people don't have. I've also found that you do come across those supportive people when you're out that will give a nice passing comment or strike up a conversation; and maybe I'm fortunate but I've come across more of those folks than those that want to be negative. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts. Finding your blog a few years ago helped me gain the courage to start getting out of the house!
Cheers!
Roxy


I asked Roxy if I could post this on GenderFun and she replied with:

Hi Adrian,
Thanks for taking the time to reply! It has been pretty fantastic to step out in femme. It's still not second nature as I continue to get that nervous excitement when I do, but once I get past the door I'm always glad I did. You are more than welcome to share my email and picture especially if you think it could help someone else. It can be a scary world out there and, at least for me, knowing that I'm not alone has been a big help. Have a wonderful day!
Cheers!
Roxy

Who is Messier?

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I was taking out the recycling when I bumped into my neighbor Megan. We started up a conversation about messy roommates. I told her about my past messy male roommates and she shared stories of her past messy female roommate.

This got me wondering, generally speaking, who is messier men or women?