Tuesday, February 28, 2017

​ Trump's America: Inside and Outside

Lover boy and I are naked in bed. We are taking a breather after completing a sex marathon. Cue the pillow talk. It has become almost a ritual between us to have wild mind-blowing sex for a couple of hours prior to delving deep, oh so deep, into each other's psyche. Our bare bodies are still burning as the sweat begins to dry. My wig is a rattled mess beyond "bed head" and my makeup is completely smeared making me resemble a Picasso painting. I don't care, I'm in bliss. We caress each other as we embark into a stimulating conversation.

He begins by telling a story of when he and his family were recently at a restaurant. In a near by table is a white old lady. She is shooting him daggers with her eyes for no apparent reason. I must mention that loverboy is an Asian man in his 30s, muscular, built like a brick house and he is covered in tattoos from head to toe. His body, in my eyes, is a work of art, absolutely beautiful. However, I can see how to others, at a glance, he looks like a rough dude, the kind of guy old ladies would clench their purses tightly to their bodies if they found themselves alone in an elevator with him. If you had to guess his sexual orientation you'd say he is absolutely straight. There is nothing fruity or stereotypically gay about his demeanor.

God knows what the old lady at the restaurant was thinking. How was she judging him in her mind? Her disgust was written all over her face. Sure, we could give her the benefit of the doubt and diagnose her with "BRF, Bitchy Resting Face" but in this hostile climate we find ourselves here in America she could have very well been looking at his tattoos and thinking "Look at that disgusting immigrant punk chink."  Never mind the fact he was born in America.

I hear the hurt in my lover's voice. I sense how much this old lady bothers him although he tries to keep the mood light peppering the story with a few jokes. I like him a great deal, so when he hurts I hurt too. He's a really sweet guy on the inside but with a tough looking exterior. He is the walking reminder why we ought to never judge a book by its cover. Not only has he gotten nasty looks by an old lady in a restaurant but he has told me about instances of dealing with police profiling, a much more serious situation.

I wonder if he tells me these stories because he knows I understand what it's like when the world reacts to one's physical presentation in a negative way. If so then he's right, a part of me understands. Although our presentation and race is different we have both been on the receiving end of discrimination based on the way we look. A lot of my clients and subscribers on YouTube and Facebook have been there as well. Many of them will tell you that one of the biggest reasons they don't crossdress in public is because they fear that someone will attack them verbally or physically based on their presentation. Many are highly concerned with "Passing" because of this very reason. Some have even emailed me asking for tips on how to crossdress in public.

We've heard stories of some folk recently using the term "Trump's America" or "Trump Country" as an excuse to attack those who may have a outward presentation some people hate. This is completely unacceptable and highly unproductive. It certainly will not make America great again. It seems that, now more than ever, we must search inside ourselves and each other to find our common humanity...hopefully doing so after completing a sex marathon of course.

Make love not war America.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Somewhere Between Masculine and Feminine

Let's talk about the grey. No, I'm not talking about the book nor the movie Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm talking about the grey gender area I and many other folk live in. Whether you like it or not, we were all born into a gender binary system of two distinct, opposite and disconnected forms of masculine and feminine. Some of us are, for the most part, happy living in the grey area, that area where we have the freedom to express all aspects of our gender identity at any given time regardless of our external presentation.

It's no secret that I display my gender expression on the internet and out in the real world. I've made it a point to not hide my masculine nor feminine side. I've had the same corporate job since 2003 where I present as male but where my coworkers know of my femme side. I've built and run a freelance makeover service since 2013 where I present either as male or female. I go out on the town on my spare time as male or female. I've also presented either male of female when dating. When I'm simply hanging out at home you can find me on any given day wearing my tight jeans and ballerina flats.

I know folks living in the grey area aren't as comfortable expressing both sides in the presence of others as I. That's why a great number of my clients who seek male-to-female makeovers from me are very much in the closet about their femme self to their loved ones and employers. I get it. Some people out there are so stuck on this gender binary idea that they have no clue about folks who live in the grey area like me and my clients. To them a person living in the grey area must be confused. If they weren't confused then we genderfluid and pangender folk would obviously pick one side of the spectrum, right? Wrong.

If you ask a naturally masculine person to stop being masculine and to start being and feeling feminine they will most likely tell you it doesn't feel right to them. So obviously a naturally masculine man begins to believe that because he was "born a man" and he feels masculine then all men should feel the way he does.  Consequently any biological man who doesn't naturally feel masculine all the time starts to believe that there must be something "wrong" with him.  Let me tell you dude, there is nothing wrong with you.  You simply have the ability to tap into the realm outside of masculinity.

I know this can confuse people when it comes to what they find attractive.  For example, when men tell me "I want to get to know you," from experience,  I'm not sure they are ready to learn the reality of the life a gender fluid individual as myself leads.  You see, generally speaking gay identifying males are attracted to masculine men, and straight identifying males who are open to dating trans women are attracted to feminine individuals.  So when someone asks me, "what do you like to do for fun?"  what I like to do and how I look doing it can be a bit of a head scratcher to some guys.

I enjoy doing lots of physical activities, from kayaking, hiking, playing tennis, and wall climbing.  I also have an artistic side where I enjoy drawing and painting,  attending the Opera, and even loved jamming with my bros in my old rock band back in the day.

I also really enjoy lifting weights.

A post shared by Adrian Acosta (@amnesiasparkles) on

Just like I love the above things I also love when I'm able to have a Girl's Night Out

And I love when I get dolled up in a new outfit to perform male-to-female makeovers

I'm as comfortable in a three piece suit as I am in a corset

I feel equally as sexy in a jockstrap as I do in a lacy thong and garter belt.

I'm just as happy on a Saturday as I am on Sunday

Yes, it's true I am in the process of getting electrolysis treatments to permanently remove my facial hair.  Just between you and I, I would much much rather my face and body have no hair.  To me a smooth body feels wonderful to the touch and it makes getting into femme a bit smoother, pun intended ;-) 

Like many things in life most things are not black and white, including Gender expression.  So next time you witness someone who doesn't fit nicely in the binary gender box created by society know that they are expressing things in a way you may not be accustomed to witnessing but at the core they are expressing something universal to all of us, including you.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Shopping in the Woman's Section

​What if I told you nobody cares?

No please, we do care, please continue reading.

One of the biggest fears a crossdresser has is going shopping in the women's section of a department store. It is completely ludicrous to think that a physical space can be divided into two, ONLY two genders, male and female. Yet department stores around the world subscribe to this notion: A male section and a woman's section.  Women have been wearing pants for decades yet in 2017 for a man to wear a dress is still taboo. Sure, a man can order a dress online but as we learned from the Gender Fun community on Facebook  you can never tell how the dress will fit unless you try it on in the dressing room.

I believe that at the core of the fear that comes from a man shopping in the woman's section is that they will be thought of as a pervert. Yet we think of a woman shopping in the men's section as if she were shopping for her boyfriend or husband. This gender bias is subconscious yet evident to those who cross the gender barrier. Although most of us in the Western world live in a binary gender system, we seem to find ourselves in a gender system that only works one way when it comes to shopping for women's clothes. Women seem to have the upper hand and can shop in both male and female sections of a department store, while men can only shop in the men's section otherwise they might seem deviant.

There is a lot of talk recently about gender inequality when it comes to wages for females in the workplace yet there is very little talk about inequality when it comes to men having the right to shop, without judgment, in the women's section of a department store.  News flash, some men like to buy and wear women's clothing.

But what if I told you no-one cares if a man is shopping in the women's section.  What if I told you sales clerks are bored out of their minds in their day-to-day routines and would welcome a little excitement in their lives?  What if that excitement was the prospect of a man looking for a dress that fits him so perfectly that it made him feel like a beautiful woman?

Yes, there have been online article about how to shop if you are transgender, and about dudes who like to shop in the women's section and how it's not a drag thing, but at the end of the day what we need to remember is the fact that the gender binary is ludicrous and that a man wanting to purchase female things is no big deal.

So next time you find yourself wanting to check out what's new in the woman's section in a department store don't hold yourself back, go there and check it out.  You might just find something that is sooo YOU.