Thursday, July 27, 2017

Are you a Charity Case? NOT

You are not going to believe the insulting email I just received from an individual in our community.

As you may know in addition to doing male-to-female makeovers since 2013 this year I launched  a 1-on-1 Skype Crossdressing Consulting Service.

I recognize that many in our Crossdressing community are in a painful Closet filled with shame and guilt.  These girls want assistance in gathering tips on how to become their best femme self but don't know where to turn to.  That's were I think I can be of service.

My clients can tell you firsthand how before, during, and after their makeovers I go above and beyond in helping them achieve the femme look that fills them with joy.  I won't lie to you, it's a lot of man hours prepping, doing their makeup, styling them, doing their photo shoots, and doing post production on their photos.  That being said, seeing them come to life, and in some cases helping them come to terms with their gender identity is beyond rewarding.

Text I received from one of my lovely girls

This is why the email I received today was especially hurtful.

Backstory: Two days ago I received an email from an individual wondering if I'd be coming down to Georgia in the near future since they would love for me to give them a makeover.  When I told them that I don't have travel plans but that I could assist them via Skype Session she was onboard...that is until she learned that this is a paid service.

When she expressed that she doesn't have the funds to pay for a Skype Session I told her that I am in the process of finding the time to take-on pro bono clients.

Then she replies to me with the below email:

"Amnesia sparkles I am going to stop watching your videos completely because you are all about making money and not just for your fans so i am going to quit receiving your videos on YouTube completely and I am no longer going to be a fan of yours thank you"

To which I replied

It saddens me to hear you don't understand that I provide a service. 
It especially saddens me that you said what you said to me after I mentioned to you that I am attempting to find it in my busy schedule to do pro bono work. 

What you said to me would you say to your barber, hairdresser, or makeup artist? 
 Would you expect them to provide you with their time and services free of charge?

I was considering taking you on as a pro bono client. I no longer consider giving you my time. You have closed that door with your erroneous assessment of me.

I have a list of other college girls that at this point deserve my pro bono services more than you. You can count on me giving them, and not you, a call free of charge.

I wish you the best on your journey.

Have a good day.


I won't lie to you, I like to think that I am a strong person but her email really upset me.  I think what upset me the most is the thought that this person doesn't understand that like most of us I too have bills to pay.

I love serving my girls in the Crossdressing community because we have similar sensibilities.  I dress in femme too you know.  I understand first hand the struggles we go through day-in and day-out presenting both in male and female form. And I understand the struggle of juggling both worlds.

I could easily do makeup and photography on non crossdressers (like I have in the past) but serving the Crossdressing community is more than just a job for me, it's a mission, it's my passion.  My clients can tell you how I relish during my photoshoots with them when I see their femme self come to life.  I know it's a thrill for them to be in femme.  It is an equal thrill for me to help them reach their goals and to witness it.

But as you know,  I still have bills to pay.  And I as an immigrant in this country I believe in working hard and putting-in the hours to earn my meal.

I understand this person's perception of me, even though they are dead wrong about their assessment about me.

In the end the  list of girls that cannot afford my services and would like pro bono work is long.  I will focus my energy on them since they would be grateful for what I can offer them.  I will call them before I ever call this individual.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

Much love,

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

How to Tell if She's a REAL Feminist

​If you are a fly on the wall, it would appear that I am applying makeup on a 59-year-old man's face. With every brushstroke I am softening their appearance. Feminizing their face. Little by little they go from looking like a regular Joe to a blonde bombshell. Blonde women have way more fun than 59 year old men, generally speaking.

You see, I do male-to-female makeovers.  Throughout the process, while my client is in the make up chair, we discuss the gender injustices of our current times. During this particular instance when speaking of my client's biological cis female partner I find myself uttering the words I have been saying for over a decade. "How can you consider yourself a true feminist if you are uncomfortable with the idea of a man wearing makeup and a dress?"

Women have made enormous strides in the last century in the name of gender equality. Yet when it comes to truly seeing their boyfriends, fiancé's, or husbands in a feminine light these women are still mentally living in the dark ages. Many women want their "man" to be a "MAN". These women are stuck in the role they want their man to play in life. So when confronted with the reality that their man wants to have a part-time life as a "woman," these women fall apart or at the very least have a strong resistance towards the idea.

Ladies, I get it. You would like your man to be your knight and shining armor, even if you don't need to be rescued. But have you ever stopped to think that your man may also be a princess, queen, or seductress inside? They may need a break from the pressures of playing the role of MAN each and every day which is expected from them. Men have all the human emotions women have so what makes you think that they don't want to feel pretty, pampered, desired? You may not even be aware of the damage you are causing your husband or boyfriend when you judge their masculinity or their desire to express typically female emotions, as seen in the documentary The Mask You Live In.

I have spoken to many women who state that they love when the MAN takes them and rashishes them in the bedroom. Ladies, what makes you think that your man doesn't want to feel that same feeling of being ravished? Some of my clients would like nothing more than to dress as female and have their lady partner ravish them. I know this may not be your thing ladies since you may not think of yourself as a lesbian or a dominant female but why not have a little unorthodox sexual fun with the "man" you love?

Life is short. Many folks are usually preocupied with completing thier studies, getting a job that pays the bills, raising kids, all along while neglecting their internal emotional desires. Many, if not, most crossdressers just want to be true to their emotional desire to dress and feel femine without the judgment of their girlfiriends or wives.

Ladies, if you want to see your man meet his true potential in life you will not only accept your man's desire to dress in femme but you will celebrate him for bravely showing his softer side, a side that may not alway surface but when it does it is special and exciting.  When you accept your man's "feminine side," you are not only showing that you are a true feminist but that you are an exemplary human being.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

​ I Want To be a Woman, but Not REALLY

You wake up in the morning. You plant your feet firmly on the ground. You get your ass out of bed. You make your way to the bathroom for the first pee of the day.  It's going to be glorious!  Will I sit down or will I stand up to do my business, you ask yourself. This is usualy a question which only crosses the mind of somone with a penis.

"If I sit down to pee does that make me less of a man," you ask yourself. Sitting down to pee is, traditionally speaking, a feminine experience. What if I am a male and want to feel more feminine, is that a crime? It's not a crime you say? Then why do I get the feeling that something might be wrong with me? Why, as a society, have we created this binary system where it's ok for women to do some things men are not supposed to do and vise versa?

You decide to sit down to pee. You relax in the process. You realize, while the pee flows, that the world keeps spinning around the Sun. Noone died. You ask yourself, What is the big deal in men doing that which women do everyday? Why stop at "peeing like a woman?" Why not put on makeup? Why not walk in heels? Why not wear a dress? Certainly the Earth will keep revovlving around the Sun then right? Right.

As you may know, I do male-to-female makeovers where I take your regular Joe and make-him-over into a lovely lady.  I cannot begin to tell you the numerous times my clients have expressed to me how they have stopped themselves from experiencing the feminine side of life. This self-censoring is riddled with SHAME and insecurities based on what a "REAL MAN" should and should not do with his short time on Earth.  Not only are my clients stopping themselves from LOOKING like a woman but they are stopping themselves from FEELING the feminene side of life.  Day-in and day-out they wear a "masculine mask" which they feel obligated to wear.  This hurts their souls, this hurts the core of their being.  Usually, they contact me when they are done feeling hurt by this ridiculous gender binary system we live in, and are ready to set their inner feminine self free.

Many, if not most, of my clients do not want a "sex change."  They simply want to look and feel feminine.  They want to release into the "real word" their physical and emotional female representation: that "thing" they've kept secret, in many cases, for over a decade.  They want to feel FREE from this ridiculous binary gender system they were born into.  I provide a safe space where they can do so, and in the process we laugh and feel the beauty and sensuality Life provides.

In many, if not in most cases, it's not that my clients want to be "women" full time.  They simply want to experience the freedom of living Life's moments as a female without judgement.   I pride myself in providing a safe space where they can experience that very feeling.  To me, my client is beyond gender.  They are an emotional creature having a real life experience.

Gays and Transgender individuals have become very visible in the past few years.  However, when it comes to males that want to dress and feel more feminine part-time there has been little to no visibility in resent history in popular culture.  Being a crossdresser/transvestite is a valid human experience.  An experience that needs to be talked about.  At the end of the day, the Earth will revolve around the Sun whether you feel like a woman or a man.  And the most important take-away is that you are not alone in how you feel.  Like planets in our solar system, you are unique in our solar system but very similar to planets in the millions of solar systems in the universe.

Keep being your own planet and pee any which way feels right to you.