by Kirsten Benjamin

Acting is one of the hardest art forms to judge. So why try? Why the competition? Acting. is. communal. We work together. Every beautiful moment that we witness on screen has been created by directors, designers, friends and family of staff members who give suggestions, the woman on the street who I am using as my character base. I, as a single actor can not accept an award- I am a vessel- of many different opinions, of many different suggestions, of many different designers. An actor can not take full credit for any one moment on screen (and then my inner thoughts say: or... mayybe... nott... my ego could use a lil' Oscar in its life... what's the harm?)

There is so much waste in our industry. Why spend millions of dollars on award ceremony? On dresses(inner kirsten says to herself: a new dress would be nice...), jewelry (that selfish me wispers: I long for heavy earrings...), all the details of the event, the after parties (ORLANDO BLOOM WOULD BE THERE!), the show-boating? Use those funds for Art Education! Not just for the art of film, every medium of art. It takes a painters eye to capture the snap shots the director of photography does, a poet to write love... (those nagging thoughts say: i could write love if Orlando was around... do you think he'd like me more if I had an Oscar?)

An Oscar for me would mean a win for a team, a group, a family, a successful collaboration (or do i really mean: I AM THE BEST! I AM THE BEST! I GOT ORLANDO! oops... i mean AN OSCAR- they both start with "O") And I would want to win if it meant bringing more attention to a project I felt would change the way we see, The way we observe, the way we judge others. (and... if I got to hold Orlan-- Oscar...)

I have been expanding my network of professional contacts, and really diving into scripts and real peoples stories that mean something to me. (my insecurities say: maybe a boob job?) I have been stretching my skills, expanding my mind to all subjects, opening myself to my own real life experiences (my greed declairs: I WANT ONE! IT IT MINE! MINE MINE MINE!) really interacting with people (FUCK THAT! I WANT 2!) who's stories need a voice, who may not (AND A GRAMMY!) have had a way to express (AND I DON'T EVEN SING!) themselves before. It's about expanding the ( GIMMIE A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WHILE YOU ARE AT IT!) the human mind to accept others.

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