Thursday, April 16, 2009

I'm Straight! Put THAT on the Cover of People Magazine!



Hi, it's Adrian, the guy half of this website. Amnesia is taking a lady break. I got something I want to get off my chest.

This post is about labels. OH HOW WE LOVE LABELS!!! I'm not sure how facetious that last statement was meant to be, after all, this world would be rather confusing if not for labels. Imagine having to take public transportation without the buses being properly labeled. How would you know which buses go where? Sure, if you are Rosa Parks you wouldn't care which buses go where because in the end you are not welcomed to sit in the front of any of them.

And there lies the downside of labels. Just because you are of a certain label you are not welcomed in certain establishments, groups, or even institutions (like marriage). There is one label that has my mind spinning today and that label is "HOMOSEXUALITY." Have you heard about it? All the kids are doing it...or being it?

Merriam-Webster defines Homosexuality as:

1 : the quality or state of being homosexual

and defines "homosexual" as:

1 : of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex 2 : of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between persons of the same sex.

Pay attention to the first definition "tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex "
huh? So in this day and age we define Homosexuality not only as an action but as a THOUGHT? So by that definition, a heterosexual person IS a homosexual even if he/she has never had sex with another person of the same sex so long as they have at one point directed sexual desire/s towards a person of the same sex?

For example, if your heterosexual girlfriend says she would totally kiss Angelina Jolie then that would make your girlfriend a homosexual. By that logic if your gay guy friend says he would totally have sex with Angelina Jolie then that would make him heterosexual.
No matter which way you look at it, it's good to be Angelia Jolie!

What's my point? I just want to make sure everyone knows that despite the fact that I am male and have a boyfriend I, Adrian Acosta, am straight. Angelina Jolie doesn't do it for me but Natalie Portman might just be the only biological woman that rocks my underpants...and my brain of course. So Natalie, if you are reading this: would you like to go out on a date with me?  My boyfriend will pay for it..we are a very progressive couple :-)

Heterosexual hugs to you
-Adrian Acosta
ps - Could I borrow the red shoes you are wearing in the photo below? What size are they?




Oh btw, when I'm not thinking straight thoughts about Natalie Portman I am a happy Homosexual. And I should point out that I have a man crush on Justin Long seen in the photo below with ex-girlfriend Drew Barrymore

Justin we loved you in Galaxy Quest!!!
If you need to do some PR for your new film "Patriotville" just send us an email. We would love to sit down with you and do a segment for The Bottom Line