Thursday, March 4, 2010

Coming Out!

Every time I ask myself why Amnesia and I do GenderFun I get an email out of the blue from a teen in need that reminds me. This one broke my heart.
It's a long one but a good one.
This young man made me cry.
Let us not forget our gay youth that need our support.

k so i just found your channel on youtube cuz i was watchin the rupaul interview, and youre awesome! i have a few questionss, sorry if i sound awkward/nervous/straight(lamestraight), i dont usually talk to most people about these things being that im kinda in the closet, or at least to 99% of the people i know :\ and its kinda hard for me to come out of my straight persona so here it goess:

what kinda workout did you do for that transformation vid? haha

hows lifeee and nice to meet youu

and to get serious D: im 19, and my dad was outa my life after like 2 months into my life, and my mom and grandma raised me on welfare etc for a while, around 4ish i started dressin up and stuff, and its been a part of my life since. k no biggie right? wronggg lol so when i was in junior high i was very open about things and everything was cool, i wasnt really open publicly or even to anyone besides a couple close friends, but i was comfortable with it and was in a gay straight alliance and everyone just thought i was an open minded straight doood. the thing is, when i was 17 my dad came back into my life, in a very positive way. problem is, his whole side of the family, which i wasnt in contact with til then, are from like tennessee and my grandpas a strict chinese guy, and my dad has been this crazy biker rebel who was in mad gangs and trust me if you met him you would understand. so now you see the problem, im locked in this deadly situation, because i feel like he would have a heart attack or kill me or himself or something if he found out, and thats just his reaction.

i could honestly care less about everyday people in my life or the public or my moms side of the family etc etc, but if they all knew my dad would eventually know, so its tuff. ive been in this predicament for a couple years and its been killing my mindset. i was doin mad drugs at first and smoking way too much weed, but ive stopped that now, and i actually feel like a very clear headed person ready to get serious about drag. i dont know what to do with this dad thing tho, and obviously im scared to come out, even though im the most courageous person i know. like i never had a problem with it until he was in my life, and since he wasnt the whole time it was really important that he made a re entry. im REALLY sorry i just threw this on you, but dont worry im not like suicidal or anything, its more like advice, dont feel any pressure to answer back or anything, for some reason i just had a feeling i could tell you

thanks for givin me the time of day, you probably get come out letters all the time haha


Dear Brandon,

your email has touched me. Sounds like you are going through a difficult time with your Dad. I don't mean to be presumptuous but I hope you know that these hard times will pass. Trust me. I know no one likes to hear about how things get better as you get older, but they do. Imagine yourself at my age, I'll be 31 in April. I know, I'm super old ;-)
Point is, by the time you get to my age you won't really care what your parents think of you. And if they are not helping you financially then you are pretty much free to live your life as you wish.

The most important thing right now is your safety. If you feel that your dad may harm you if you came out of the closet then by all means stay in the closet. But if you think he is mature enough to accept your life then go ahead and tell him. Just understand that if he doesn't accept you right away it's really HIS PROBLEM, not yours. We all want unconditional love from our parents but at what price? You can't let his opinion of you affect you in a negative way. You are worthy of happiness in your life.

When you look at life from the END, in theory your parents will die before you. This means you will have to live with yourself and the decisions you've made. Find your inner happiness and share with your dad only what you are comfortable sharing at this time. If you feel he's not ready to hear about a certain aspect of your life then keep the details to yourself for now.

In time things should get easier. And you'll know when your dad will be ready to hear about certain parts of your life.

There is a whole world out there filled with people that will love you no matter what. Trust me, I get random emails from strangers telling me how much they love me almost every day. It's really touching. It's really humbling. I often cry when I read them. These same strangers will love you too, because you are a part of a beautiful and colorful tribe.

As just another member of that tribe I send you a big hug via cyber space.

keep strong. YOU are an inspiration to ME.

Thank you for opening your heart in your email. You have touched me.

Give it a few months and send me an email with an update. It might take me a long time to reply but please know I read all emails I get.

much love.
peace

-Adrian

Although I have mix feelings about the HRC they do have a helpful Coming Out Guide worth taking a look at.