Rebuilding the Body

When I was a teenager I had very simple life goals: live in a small yet comfortable apartment in a big city, make enough money to support myself, do my art/photography/performance stuff, and most importantly NEVER EVER GET FAT!!!

Earlier this year I thought I would fail at that last goal. In April I was diagnosed with two herniated discs in my Thoracic spine. I had to wear a back brace and I was told not to exercise. I did physical therapy twice a week during April, May, and June which consisted of sticking electrodes to my back and zapping me with electricity for 20 minutes each session.

The physical therapy helped but at one point the pain throughout the day got unbearable. To make things worse I felt like the pain had stripped me of my confidence. I felt weak, restricted, cranky, and simply not myself. I try not to show that side of me to anyone so I hid it as well as I could.

Not being able to exercise is one thing but when the pain got so bad that I wasn't enjoying having SEX I asked the doctor for some pain killers! Last month I started taking Tramadol. It's non addictive and it takes the edge off. I can function again. I'm enjoying SEX again. PRAISE THE LORD!!! That was very important to me. I feel like a man again.

Last year I was probably the most fit I've ever been in my life after completing the P90x workout program (photo above).

Unfortunately my back is not healed yet so I can't do the P90x strenuous workout but I've started doing some light exercise. I'm slowly starting to feel physically confident and although it is uncertain whether my back will ever completely heal I refuse to go against one of my teenage goals. I've made it to the age of 31 without "letting myself go" and I'm not going to let a minor setback get the best of me.

(July 19, 2010)

btw - Mom don't worry, your son is ok. He's taking care of himself the best he can. Beso.

PS - Thank you to all the emails and messages I've gotten over the past few months concerned about my health. You guys are the best. You keep me going when I'm at my lowest. Thank you.

Here's a funny comparison. This is what the body looked like at the age of 21, ten years ago.

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