Monday, August 9, 2010

Brian: Big Brother, and a Big Sister!

We love love love what Brian had to say in the below email.
Such great advice, such a great attitude!
No wonder someone already snatched him up!
Congrats Brian!!!
Thank you Brian for this wonderful email.
big hugs bro/sis!


My dearest Mr. Adrian Acosta,

I discovered GenderFun, and yourself around a year ago, and have been following your various activities ever since. I enjoy your many "how-to's", beauty tips, (hilarious!) videos, and the like. The reason that I am writing to you today - the first time I have felt compelled to do so is because of an article posted recently entitled "I'm a straight guy who crossdresses - how to I tell my parents".

Adrian, I cannot begin to tell you how insightful, informed, and dignified your response was to the young gentleman who was writing in. I am a straight male as well. I am engaged to a wonderful woman, and yes, I crossdress.

You spoke much about the idea of different identities invoking differing levels (or boxes) of emotion. You could not be any more correct. When I crossdress - I feel and look feminine, I feel sexy, and empowered. There is a level of artistry involved that most people (Ok, mostly straights) do not understand. I do not crossdress to go and find potential men to date, as I do not find myself sexually attracted to men (something again, that people who do not understand the art of crossdressing fail to understand). If I crossdress, I must like men. Really? Says whom? I do it for myself, because it is something that I like to do. I enjoy the art, illusion, and dedication behind for instance, learning the secrets of the perfect cleavage (thanks for the video!) My fiance is supportive and curious and is often excited by the fact that I do not embody traditional "manly man" identity. Sure, I play contact sports, study martial arts, and can change a tire in 15 minutes - but I can also walk in spike heels, apply faux lashes, and create some wicked eye makeup straight out of a Madonna, Gaga, or La Roux video.

Adrian, I guess where I am going with this is just to say that I appreciate your insightfulness on the variety of subjects you chose to address, but I was especially impressed with your response to this article. I will say however, that this person who wrote to you should look for a close friend or two to tell about his favorite hobby. Telling your parents, why? What purpose or satisfaction would he receive? My parents are very traditional Roman Catholic Italians, and have no idea what I have chosen for a hobby for myself. They have made their views known when upon meeting my fiance for the first time my father welcomed her into the house and simultaneously greeted her by saying, and I quote -

"Come in and see all his "fag" shit in the bathroom"

If it is attention, advice, or companionship that this young man is looking for, I suggest he find it elsewhere than going to his parents. Although I can respect his intentions - "our" generation, and I mean that as in those of us in our mid-to-late twenties and early thirties just tend to understand and appreciate differing lifestyles more. Gay, straight, Bi, transgendered, intersexed - I'd like to think it's all the same to those of us in these age brackets. I realize that this is not the case everywhere - as I am thankful to live in a carefree area of the country. I could not imagine living anywhere else.

I have chosen to tell a few close friends (mostly my gay male friends) and they think that it is absolutely amazing and often ask me if I would consider doing it in public for Halloween, or some similar get-together. I have been embraced in the gay community in my area for just being one of those "cool, non-judgmental, straight boy's who "get it". They ask me about the products I use, and often suggest things, products, and techniques for me to try out. I often feel more comfortable around my gay friends than I do around my straight friends who want to sit around, watch nascar, smoke cigars, and engage in other recreational activities. No thanks.

I embrace myself, my favorite hobby, and those around me for who they are. Honestly, I think my hobby has really provided me with a great appreciation of culture, and has allowed me to fully embrace my feminine box of emotion - as I enjoy doing so. This gentleman should absolutely do the same, but I would suggest starting someplace "more safe" than telling the parents. If he feels like he "needs" to tell someone, that someone should be someone who knows him inside and out, and as is so often nowadays, parents usually do not.

As always Adrian, thank you.

Brian,
Massachusetts.