Tuesday, September 7, 2010

You Can Go with This or You Can Go with That!

"Come Near My Shoes, I'll Cut Ya"

So you get teased in school for being "different." Your parents don't approve of a hobby of yours, say for example cross dressing. Your friends don't respect your choices, or how you choose to spend your time. You are being "shamed" from all angles for simply wanting to be yourself.

STOP.

You don't have to accept others placing shame on you when you are simply trying to be true to yourself. You can't allow others to bring you down. You have to learn to defend your choices.

This past weekend I watched "Making Plans with Lena" a French film about a very depressed mother of two going through a divorce and dealing with unemployment and a very judgmental family. Although, it seemed the world was against her it was her poor attitude that made things even worse. Watching a person sabotage their life on film can really put one's attitude towards life into perspective.

This weekend I also got some emails from young straight guy cross dressers who are feeling alone, ashamed, and judged for simply wanting to have a little fun dressing up. I won't lie, even though I don't know these guys personally I get really really sad and angry when I read these types of emails. I think it's because I understand what it's like to be made to feel "different." You are made to feel as if there is something wrong with you. You are made to feel ashamed, stupid, weird, isolated, weak, and like you simply don't matter.

However, you KNOW deep down inside that not only are you fine the way you were created, but you also posses this incredible ability to make yourselves feel better AND to make others in your life feel good as well.

Going back to that French movie. The woman in the film was presented with a lot of exterior resistance from her ex husband, her mother, sister, brother, etc. But the one person that caused her the most harm/resistance was HERSELF. Instead of trying to fix the situation she drove herself nuts with negative thoughts.

I think it's important to get a bit of Amnesia sometimes and forget any negative opinions that others may have of you and remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with seeking happiness in your life. You must nurture your self esteem, nurture your confidence so that when others feel the need to rain on your parade you confidently look them in the eyes and you tell them that no amount of negativity from their part is going to bring you down.

You should be able to walk just as confidently in heels (whether you're a girl or a guy) as a football player steps onto a football field. You are part of this game and you cannot let the opponent strip away your confidence. Don't let them win. I'm cheering for you. Set your mind on winning. You might have some challenges ahead but if you focus on making things better for yourself others will follow.

I just had to get that off my chest.

Also, don't be so hard on yourself.

Now, put on some dance music and get down.
Have yourself a sock party if you can. It's silly, pointless, but it sure is fun to jump on a bed.
You can go back to worrying and feeling stressed another day.
Much love,
-A
ps - some of you guys have already joined me on Facebook. FB is a good way to make friends with my FB friends so that you can find peeps with similar sensibilities - and you can help and support each other. We're all in it together.