Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Yo Straight Guy, I'm Your Wingman, Man

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This past Christmas eve my roommate had his straight guy friend from out of town over for some drinks. We wanted to keep things low key so I invited one of my friends as well. Two other Gays came over as well. Lets do the math: 5 gay guys and 1 straight guy. You're probably thinking, "I've seen that porn. Things don't end well for the straight guy." lol

On the contrary. This straight guy got to texting a girl (who was in from out of town) he met recently. Thus began the adventure of trying to get the straight guy laid on Christmas eve.

Something you may not know about me is that I really enjoy playing wingman to a straight guy. I get to use my female sensibility with my horny guy mentality. I understand where the straight guy is coming from but I also understand that one must use a bit of finesse when trying to pick up a girl. It's that whole mentality of; you're not going to make a girl walk 6 blocks in 5 inch heels (I know how uncomfortable that can be) but you will "punish" her in the bedroom (some girls like it rough in the bedroom) ;-) You got to be a little sweet and a little rough with the ladies at the same time.

Christmas eve was a cold night and the girl was not about to go out in the city. She was curled up on the couch under the covers in a hotel room. This meant straight guy's work was half done. We simply had to get her to agree to have him over. After an hour or so of coaching him, we 5 gay guys got the straight guy one step closer to getting laid on Christmas eve when she agreed to have him over. WOOT WOOT!!

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We've not talked to the straight guy since so we don't know how he played his cards once he got to her hotel room but that's all him. As a wingman I believe we did our job; which was to get him and her alone together. I can get you the job interview but you better make sure you polish your resume, if you know what I mean?

You're probably thinking, it took 5 gay guys and a straight guy to convince a girl to have a guy over? I forgot to mention she was a JAP (Jewish American Princess). You know how difficult these women can be? Getting them to agree to anything is like having the tobacco company admit to the fact that their products kill millions of people each year. Her agreeing to having him over was nothing short of A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

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JAPs are a good challenge though. They make their men work hard for the prize. Smart girls ;-)

And that's my Christmas story this year. Helping one straight man get laid at a time.
You're welcome guys ;-)