J, a young man in Austria, wrote to us with a bit of a dilemma. He wants to cross dress in public but if his parents were to find out things could get ugly.
I can understand the desire to cross dress in public. Cross dressing is fun. It's something that can bring you a great deal of joy, excitement, and there is nothing like doing something you love out in the fresh air. It's complete freedom!!!!! It's like becoming one with nature.
However, sometimes nothing freaks people out more than to see someone soooooo happy and so free! Especially when a person finds happiness in what others may consider the violation of unwritten gender laws. Men shall not dress in women's clothing. Those are just silly rules.
That's why if you are to cross dress in public I would say you must always remember "Time," "Place," and "Manner."
Time - Are you cross dressing during the day or night?
Place - What is your town like? Are they the type of folk that will want to kick you out or hurt you if they were to know that you cross dress or are they more care free like in many big cities?
Manner - How will you be behaving and what will you be wearing? Are you going to give people the middle finger if they come after you for wearing only your bra, panties, and knee high leather boots in the middle of the day while children walk by, or will you be dressed and behaving like a lady?
As you may know I'm no stranger to walking out my front door wearing a dress and high heels in the middle of the day as seen in this video. At one point you even see my alter-ego Amnesia offer to help a couple of strangers who are carrying a sofa down the street (2:42 mark). Then again I live in New York City, where usually people aren't shocked when they see a cross dresser.
Some people just don't understand cross dressing. And some cross dressers don't know how to explain to others how wonderful they feel when they cross dress. I think if you have the need to tell others about this happiness you experience you first have to ask them "What they think of cross dressers," if seeing cross dressers upsets them then ask them "What is it about an innocent hobby of putting on the opposite gender's clothes that upsets them so much?" REALLY. Isn't it silly that one can cross dress during Halloween yet any other time during the year it's simply weird or disgusting? Cross dressing is fun any time of the year!
At the end of the day it's all about confidence. It's natural to worry about people judging you. However, you know deep down inside how happy dressing up makes you feel. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve to be happy. After all, if the image of a boy wearing a suit doesn't hurt anyone why then should the image of a boy wearing a skirt be so hurtful or damaging, weird, or gross? It isn't.
Own your happiness and always remember Time, Place and Manner.
Happiness is something good. Let us strive for that.
Amnesia says to add "don't forget to strive for happiness"