I was watching Nene on Ellen (video click HERE) and she was saying that Star Jones is "hard to get to know." She also said a mouth full of negative things which lead me to believe that labeling a person as "hard to get to know" was a bad thing.
What exactly do people mean when they say that a person is "hard to get to know?"
Have you ever used that term? What the hell does that mean?
"hard to get to know?"
I asked my doctor friend for his input, to which he said:
"hard to get to know" "is a mix-match of personality and one of the persons feels uncomfortable."
You come into the office and your coworker says "What did you do this past weekend?" Instead of saying "Oh I had a fantastic time crossdressing," you say "oh nothing much."
Also, sometimes a person will share of him/herself and expect a certain reaction. When the other person doesn't reciprocate or give the expected reaction then he or she may be labeled as "hard to get to know."
Lets say Sally comes in bitching up a storm. If Bobby agrees with her and says, "yeah, fuck that shit, I am sorry that it happened" or if Bobby shares a similar story then Sally feels understood. Sally will say, "Yeah, I GET Bobby."
But if Sally comes to Bobby and does the same thing and Bobby simply says "Ok, fine." She'll say, "I just don't get him. What's Booby really saying? Man, Bobby is a dick for not joining in my drama/my world, but I can't say that without admitting that I am a drama queen so I will say that Bobby is mysterious and "hard to get to know."
Or if Sally tells Bobby her drama and Bobby DOESN'T seem genuine when he says "oh, how horrible" Then Sally may not think Bobby is honest thus making him an asshole, or "hard to get to know."
Now, an asshole is an asshole but why jump to conclusions? Some people are simply private and or are socially weird (ie bipolar person or some other affective disorder). They are unable to communicate properly or effectively, in that case the person is hard to get to know but you know enough to say, "he's seems to have a condition", but rarely do you just say "he's hard to get to know". You know? ;-)
On a personal note, I heard through the grapevine that someone I know told someone else I know that I was "hard to get to know." OH MY! COULD I BE JUST LIKE STAR JONES? We ARE both Aries. BTW - did you know that tomorrow is Star Jones's Birthday! Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. G.I. JOE!!
As for me, often times I feel like I listen to people as a psychologist listens to his patients, with no reaction. I take it all in. I listen to what they are saying, and how they are saying it. This makes me a very quiet audience member...
Other times I'm the total opposite sprinkling their dramatic stories with some comedic comments which usually frustrates the hell out of the storyteller because they think I'm not taking their story "seriously." If I'm in a party mood and you come telling me a story about how this lady yelled at you on the train making you feel horrible it's going to be hard for me to bring it down a notch. That has comedy written all over it. Like Bloody Loco!
The good doctor, who has known me for years, had this to say about me
"I bet people think "you're hard to get" becuase you play nice but not along. People see you and expect you to play along. But instead you fraustrate or surprise them with your reaction. People- who don't expect or need people to be players in their drama- get you just fine."
I couldn't agree with him more. Also, it probably confuses people the fact that sometime I WILL play along, and other times I simply dance to the beat of my own drum.
Do you think YOU are "hard to get to know?" Go ahead, let me know ;-)