Sunday, March 20, 2011

Straight Acting vs Gay Acting

flam



Somehow the conversation with the stranger in the table next to us migrated to penis size. "Penis size doesn't matter unless it's either too big or too small," I found myself saying candidly. I was on my second drink joined by my doctor friend at Viceroy in the heart of gay New York City, Chelsea. Penis size is probably not your typical dinner table conversation especially with a stranger in the next table, but no one forced this man to jump into our conversation. Judging by the smile on his face he clearly wanted my friend and I to give him a show and tell... or maybe I'm being a little presumptuous. Nah, he wanted us bad!

After dinner the good doctor and I moseyed over to a gay bar for a night cap. This would be my first gay bar in a long time since I hibernate during the winter. On our way there some friendly, slightly drunk, cute boys from Florida started up a conversation. They too were going to a bar but not the one that was to be our destination. "Maybe we'll catch up with you guys later at Barracuda" we told them as they turned left and we turned right. We would have gone with them but I'm "off the market" and I could tell the good doctor wasn't interested in any of them. They were cute guys but the good doctor is picky. Can you blame him? He's a doctor for God's sakes.

As we walked into the bar a wave of gayness washed over us. It had been so long since I last frequent a gay bar that I forgot how packed they can get even on a Thursday night. Although this was no ordinary Thursday. It was St Patrick's day! Follow the rainbow to the pot of gold!

The place was wall to wall gay stereotypes. The crowed was mostly your typical gym bunny/Chelsea Queen, muscular torsos with skin tight v-necks, tans, and maybe an Asian boy toy or two sprinkled about. You had your "Papis" and your "Brothas" which were so primped that they looked polished. These divas took pride in their thin eyebrows, and JLo bronzers.

The good doctor and I stayed to enjoy the fun colorful view only enough to finish our gin and tonic. The vibe was enjoyable but I can only handle for a short time the endless disco loop thumping away at too high of a decibel to actually carry a conversation... unless I'm in drag.



Later that weekend one of my friends on Facebook posted "Str8 acting...wtf?" It didn't take long for another friend to comment by saying "I hate that term." This got me thinking of the lack of "str8 acting" guys at the gay bar that night. Some people find the term "straight acting" or "gay acting" offensive. I simply see the terms as helpful tools to get a quick and easy visual of a person's mannerisms and/or fashion. Some gay people get offended when the media portrays them as stereotypes, these gays clearly didn't attend the gay bar I did last week.

The fact is stereotypes exist whether you like it or not. I enjoy all stereotypes as long as the person is honest with themselves. Don't become a stereotype for lack of having an identity. Listen to your heart and associate with people that accept your honest self. If you feel more comfortable "straight acting" then brotha do your butch thang. If you like to queen out and twirl your arms up in the air to some Deborah Cox then sista do yo thang. And if you're like me, someone who enjoys hanging with the guys and also enjoys getting all dolled up as a girl then my brothas and sistas, rock both ends. Find the right place and friends and express yourself!

I think it's important to remember that mannerisms, gay and straight, come in a large spectrum like penis size. Some are super straight and some super gay - you simply have to find the one that fits you just right ;-)