Monday, October 3, 2011

The Gay Thing

Today's viewer mail comes from an anonymous 15 year old young man. He writes

I am 15 and struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality. I know i am gay and need help with it. How did you deal with it? How did you come out? Also, i want to do drag extemely badly! Any tips on how a teen like me can do it? Your amazing- Thanks (:




Hi there anonymous,
thanks for writing in.

For tips on drag stuff you can check out a site that I started called www.GenderFun.com
Usually when I get dresses, shoes, make up etc I post about it there.

As for the "gay" thing. just keep reminding yourself that it's just another characteristic you posses, like having brown hair, or liking chocolate. it doesn't have to be a big deal.

I don't usually talk or write about me being "gay" because I never saw it as a big issue for me (luckly because I live in the US. it would be different in other parts of the world I'm sure).

I came out in high school when I was 16 in the mid 90s. Everybody in school pretty much knew I was gay and I didn't care. Sure there were bullies but I always looked at them in the eyes and wouldn't take their shit. I can fight. I'm never afraid of getting into a fist fight.

I didn't think there was a reason to tell my parents at the time since I didn't think my sexuality was any of their business.

My senior year in high school my mother got a call in the middle of the night when I was away at my cousin's house. The asshole on the phone told her I was a fag, that I was gay. I was outted. She was devastated.

We had a very emotional talk when I got home, and yes I was scared. It's that fear a 17 year old gay boy gets when he realizes he could get kicked out onto the streets, rejected by his own family. I was lucky in the fact that I have very loving and supportive parents. It took some getting used to but my parents accepted me the way I was born.

If I had any piece of advice to give you is, ENJOY BEING 15!!!! Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Accept who you are.  Find a small group of friends and family members that will care for you because you are HONEST with them. Sure there will be bullies and assholes out there but you don't need to waste your energy on them. Come out to your parents when you are ready. You're 15 so I doubt they want you wasting your time with a romantic relationship anyway. They much rather see you do well in school and plan for your future.

I hope this helps you in any way.

sending you much love and happiness.
-A