Sunday, September 9, 2012

SEX on a First Date YES or NO?

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This past Friday night I went on a dinner date with a young fellow...a young sexy fellow...a sexy piece of ass papi chulo!! HE WAS FIIIIIINE! MMMMMHHHMMMMM.

We went for a stroll after dinner. There was some petting and kissing by the water's edge under the stars as we looked across the East River at the Manhattan skyline.

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That came to an end unfortunately since we both had to catch the last train home. You see, there would be no more L trains after midnight. We rode the train together. I got off first. He would get off a couple stops after me.

During dinner he had mentioned in passing, that it would be nice if I came over to his place that night. It wasn't a formal invitation, but more of a let's test the waters kinda comment. To which I did not take seriously since we were still in the middle of dinner. Plus, it was way to early in the date to determine if I liked him enough to fool around with him.

When I got home that night I sent him a text thanking him for a good time to which he mentioned it could have been a better time *wink wink* if I had come over to his place. He was clearly frustrated that I gave him plenty of affection during the date but didn't seal the deal that night by going over to his place and getting it on like in one of those wild romance novels.

Clearly he was a guy who is ok with the idea of having sex with someone on the first date. Personally, I prefer to wait till after the first date to have sex. This clearly is a problem for the person who wants to have sex on the first date and not so much for the person who doesn't. The person who doesn't walks away from the first date thinking of how the date went, but the person who wants to have sex on the first date walks away disappointed thinking of how the date COULD HAVE BEEN.

The day after the date, we texted briefly. Then he called me to tell me a thing or two. He expressed that he confused my affection with foreplay. He saw my affection and me talking about getting naked as teasing, especially since I didn't end up going to his place. Mind you, I never said I would be going to his place. I simply stated that the night was so hot and humid all I wanted to do is go home, get naked and take a shower. He simply added himself to the picture in his own mind.

On the phone he expressed that there were two solutions to this dilemma, either make it work, or walk away. I waited for his answer on the receiver. He chose to walk away. I wished him well and that was that.

The interesting thing about this experience is that I was TOTALLY up for going ALL THE WAY with this guy, just not on the first date. He blew it by getting upset for not getting his when he wanted it. If he would have played it cool I might have done ANYTHING he wanted on the second date. And I can get pretty wild in the bedroom...but he'll never know that.

I know that my signals of affection were very sexual in nature during the date, I know that, I was a bit warmed up ;-) I kissed him, I sat on this lap as we looked at pictures on my phone, and I even accepted two piggy back rides from him. But just because I rub against you in the PRESENT MOMENT doesn't mean I will agree to go to your place for sex in the FUTURE. That's a whole different time and place.

Well, there you have it.  That's where it ends...or is it?

His last text yesterday, after he called me to tell me he would be moving on, read:

"Let's talk tomorrow?"

I didn't reply to that text.

Two questions for you:

Should I continue a conversation with this guy?  

and second question is about you dear reader

SEX on a First Date YES or NO?





*In this story the deal-breaker for my date was the fact that I didn't sleep with him that night but, between you and me, I believe there were other things about me he didn't find attractive.  He was just not that into me and used the no-sex-on-the-first-date as a reason to not want a second date.  His wanting to continue a conversation makes me believe he's very lonely and honry.   He is new to the city after all.