Let's talk about the grey. No, I'm not talking about the book nor the movie Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm talking about the grey gender area I and many other folk live in. Whether you like it or not, we were all born into a gender binary system of two distinct, opposite and disconnected forms of masculine and feminine. Some of us are, for the most part, happy living in the grey area, that area where we have the freedom to express all aspects of our gender identity at any given time regardless of our external presentation.
It's no secret that I display my gender expression on the internet and out in the real world. I've made it a point to not hide my masculine nor feminine side. I've had the same corporate job since 2003 where I present as male but where my coworkers know of my femme side. I've built and run a freelance makeover service since 2013 where I present either as male or female. I go out on the town on my spare time as male or female. I've also presented either male of female when dating. When I'm simply hanging out at home you can find me on any given day wearing my tight jeans and ballerina flats.
I know folks living in the grey area aren't as comfortable expressing both sides in the presence of others as I. That's why a great number of my clients who seek male-to-female makeovers from me are very much in the closet about their femme self to their loved ones and employers. I get it. Some people out there are so stuck on this gender binary idea that they have no clue about folks who live in the grey area like me and my clients. To them a person living in the grey area must be confused. If they weren't confused then we genderfluid and pangender folk would obviously pick one side of the spectrum, right? Wrong.
If you ask a naturally masculine person to stop being masculine and to start being and feeling feminine they will most likely tell you it doesn't feel right to them. So obviously a naturally masculine man begins to believe that because he was "born a man" and he feels masculine then all men should feel the way he does. Consequently any biological man who doesn't naturally feel masculine all the time starts to believe that there must be something "wrong" with him. Let me tell you dude, there is nothing wrong with you. You simply have the ability to tap into the realm outside of masculinity.
I know this can confuse people when it comes to what they find attractive. For example, when men tell me "I want to get to know you," from experience, I'm not sure they are ready to learn the reality of the life a gender fluid individual as myself leads. You see, generally speaking gay identifying males are attracted to masculine men, and straight identifying males who are open to dating trans women are attracted to feminine individuals. So when someone asks me, "what do you like to do for fun?" what I like to do and how I look doing it can be a bit of a head scratcher to some guys.
I enjoy doing lots of physical activities, from kayaking, hiking, playing tennis, and wall climbing. I also have an artistic side where I enjoy drawing and painting, attending the Opera, and even loved jamming with my bros in my old rock band back in the day.
I also really enjoy lifting weights.
Just like I love the above things I also love when I'm able to have a Girl's Night Out
And I love when I get dolled up in a new outfit to perform male-to-female makeovers
I'm as comfortable in a three piece suit as I am in a corset
I feel equally as sexy in a jockstrap as I do in a lacy thong and garter belt.
I'm just as happy on a Saturday as I am on Sunday
Yes, it's true I am in the process of getting electrolysis treatments to permanently remove my facial hair. Just between you and I, I would much much rather my face and body have no hair. To me a smooth body feels wonderful to the touch and it makes getting into femme a bit smoother, pun intended ;-)
Like many things in life most things are not black and white, including Gender expression. So next time you witness someone who doesn't fit nicely in the binary gender box created by society know that they are expressing things in a way you may not be accustomed to witnessing but at the core they are expressing something universal to all of us, including you.