Wednesday, March 29, 2017

You'll Never Be A Cis Woman, But You Can Still Live As A Woman



Have you heard of the Keystone Conference which takes place in Harrisburg, PA? It's an annual gathering of LGBTQ and especially Crossdressers.

Attendees find four full days of varied and meaningful workshops, seminars and activities and four nights of social functions, the finale being Saturday night's Keystone Gala Dinner and Dance in the Sheraton's resplendent Commonwealth Ballroom and the LGBTQ youth's Butterfly Ball in the Pennsylvania Ballroom.

Almost 700 people attended the eighth Annual Keystone Conference in March of 2016. This year one of our very own girls which we've giving Male-to-Female makeovers attended on her own. It was her very first time in Femme in PUBLIC!!!

Unfortunately because of my busy schedule I was not able to attend this year but my girl Jennifer filled me in. It's no surprised she returned home a bit sad. Here's why.

In her words:

"I just wanted to let you know what an amazing time I had this weekend. All the girls I met were so warm and welcoming! "I am still trying to process all the feelings and emotions. I approached this as an opportunity to not only go out as Jennifer for the first time, but since it was going to be the first time that I was spending more than 12 hours as Jennifer, to live as much like a woman as possible for the duration, 24-7. I think I ended up walking away with more questions than answers as I absolutely loved, loved, loved it! 

I loved getting dressed every morning, looking in mirrors and seeing Jennifer looking back, my long nails, carrying a purse, getting told how pretty I looked or how cute my outfit was, wearing perfume (I even had a waitress ask me what I was wearing because She said I smelled so pretty - Beyoncé Heat ;)), and just being me. 

I even wished I could have taken it further as some things became uncomfortable by the end of the day - wished it was my own hair instead of a wig, wished I had my ears pierced instead of clip-ons, wished it were my curves instead of padding, wished I didn't have to shave as much (I went totally hairless below my eyebrows the entire weekend - loved it!), even wished I had a vagina instead of tucking and taping. I guess I just wished I was a woman. 

 I even ended up talking to this guy at the hotel bar (no - nothing happened) who wasn't there because of the conference (or so he said) and I was showing some cleavage that night and noticed he kept looking down when we were talking (which made me feel attractive), and I liked it when he was flirting a little with me, and I found myself actually flirting back. I have never done anything with a guy, but that night I had dreams of him making love to me as Jennifer, and I kept thinking about it all weekend. 

 So like I said, more questions than answers, and I have no idea where any of this will lead, but I find myself sad today as I miss Jennifer. 😪 As I told you the other day, thanks for your help, support, and friendship through this journey so far!" 

One of the things folks who don't crossdress don't understand is the complete joy and freedom one feels when crossdressing. For a short time one gets to match the internal feelings with the outer presentation. It's no wonder that for many crossdressers taking the makeup off and jumping back into man pants brings a level of sadness.

It can also bring deep questions about one's "authentic self." Spending almost a whole week in Femme at a conference is not 100% the "real world." It's more like a bubble. You get to live as your internal Femme self but inevitably you have to go back to the life you've created for yourself. That life may invlove a wife and kids and maybe even an employer that will not accept the idea of you transitioning to the opposite sex.

That being said attending an annual crossdressing conference can also be a launching point for you to start making changes. You can decide to start with the smaller things such as piercing your ears, growing your hair long, and getting laser hair removal or electrolysis. You can hold off on thinking about hormones and getting SRS for a later time.

Or you can simply think of an annual crossdressing conference as a wonderful "Summer Camp." A place where you can express your full self among like-minded individuals. Either way, the choice is yours.  Realizing you have choices can make a huge difference in your life.  And let me tell you, you always have choices as much as you may not believe it.

I am delighted at the fact that annual conferences such as these exist throughout the year in different parts of the country. They really give girls like Jennifer the freedom to explore their inner workings in a safe environtment. Three cheers for the bravery she displayed and for the Keystone Conference.