The Truth is in the Middle


The truth is that people will make up stories about you based on their perception of you. A long sentence to a short story. They will insist that you were somewhere with them when you weren’t. Memory plays tricks on us. Some folks even mistake dreams with memories. Few journal their day-to-day activities. They can’t say for certain where they were a year ago today, who they spent time with doing what. How then can you blame them for living in a fantasy narrative?

When you’re gender variant, some people see you and “treat” you as the gender they perceive you to be. They also assume that you want to be perceived as one of TWO genders. And since they are accustomed to treating male and females differently, they believe they ought to see you and treat you a certain way: Either one way or the other. This Gender binary mentality is simply lazy. An excuse to not see deep into one’s eyes and see that we are more than our biological sex and gender expression.

If you’re like me, you have felt these gender expression limitations placed on us all our lives. If you are born with a vagina you ought not be too assertive. If you were born with a penis you ought not be too sensitive and emotional. At some point you become aware of these limitations. You then either conform to them or you rebel against them. Whichever you choose, you become. You are now living in that paradigm.

I was born with a penis in a “man’s world.” I had the privilege of doing unthinkable stupid things that could be filed away as “boys will be boys.” At one point I decided, perhaps subconsciously, that I wanted a life free from what was expected of my “gender”. I guess you can call it a sort of “second wave feminism” but for someone who was born “male.” I no longer wanted to follow the ridiculous limited notion of what a man should be and how he should act. I wanted to free myself from this notion of gender and gender expectations.

The truth is in the middle, is what tell myself when I hear someone tell me they've had a conflict with another person. Sometimes we are too wrapped up in our own position to see another perspective. So, we blame others for our circumstances. We make them out to be the enemy. We see ourselves as the victims in the situation we find ourselves in. Rarely do we question the paradigm, the template we find ourselves in. Of course, we are going to be one way or the other since those were the only two options we were given. We rarely stop and ask ourselves could there be a third way of being?

So, what is that third way of being?

I think I may have tapped into it….and it’s everything you can imagine it to be…and more.

Popular Posts