STOP Blaming Straight Women and Own Your Actions

When burly fully bearded men send me photos of themselves wearing lipstick and a wig I rejoice. When they start to blame women for not accepting them I get tough.

Here is an IG conversation with one of my followers who has messaged me for well over a year. It's alway the same merry go round with them. They seem to be stuck in a loop and the one thing they could do to help themselves is to really truly own their actions, to really explore their behavior outside of the idea of gender.

They still have a ways to go

DEL: Right now I'm trying to heal myself again of being a woman, because I'm thinking it started when I was emotionally neglected as a kid...
I want to get remarried..
I'm again at a crossroad

ME: Is it helping you at all thinking of the past?

DEL: Well,, want to be married again,

ME: That’s the future. Are you in the past, the future, or the present?

DEL: I've always failed with women because my female always comes out
I'm in all 2
I'm alone
I need to give love and be loved
I'm still searching my core,
It may be above gender
This is my situation
I'm living 2 lives

ME: Living two lives is impossible with one body. What you are doing is lying to yourself by creating a false narrative in your head. Once you come to terms with that then everything else will fall into place.

DEL: I've tried everything

ME:Then you may be ready to surrender. And stop trying to be this idea of what a man should be. Once you stop trying to be a man and/or a woman then you will feel like life feels great

DEL: All that is fine.. But all my relationships with women are failures

ME: What are you doing wrong?

DEL: I'm going out with straight women

ME: Don’t blame straight women. You must be doing something wrong
DEL: I think I'm straight, or want to be straight

ME: You have to take a look at your behavior to know what you are doing wrong. Maybe you are not empathetic enough. Maybe you are not understanding how your partner feels

DEL: She left me already. She said as they all do, you're a woman

ME: But you’re not a woman. Maybe they get mad at you because you don’t seem to hear and see how they feel

DEL: No woman wants a bra wearing man

ME: Not true. The bra is not the issue

DEL: OK, I've lost too many to count

ME: And yet you can’t see the real reason. Maybe you will get it in a few years

DEL: I get very involved with being female. After a while, my wife didn't like me getting a large toy

ME: Sounds like you have an obsession. What wife likes to be with a man who is obsessed?

DEL: I am female during intimacy. Period

ME If you say so. No such thing. You are male. All the time

DEL: Every woman loves being a woman intimately, it's normal

ME: You may have a feminine expression but it does not make you female

DEL: OK... Even my gf called me a woman, or she male

ME: I have a feeling you are confusing your obsession with being female with your feminine expression. You may not even know the difference and that’s what is a turn off to some women. It may come across as a delusion. And they don’t want to be with someone who seems delusional

DEL: OK. I'm gender fluid

ME: Once you come out of the delusion then you will start living an authentic life. You have a ways to go

DEL: Women don't like they're husband's or bfs to be like a woman

ME: Not true. I have clients who dress as women and are happily married to women that support them. But they are not delusional

DEL: What is my Delusion?  May I ask you how you see yourself

ME: In a mirror


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