I Have Solved the Gender Gap, You're Welcome

You probably heard that there is a “gender gap” where women get paid less than their male counterparts for doing the same job. Would you believe me if I told you I, Adrian Lopez Acosta, have solved the gender gap? Yes sir/ma'am, I have, but I need your help to implement my radical plan. Here's how it works.

As a collective we have decided that we were going to call one group of people men and another group of people women. We've been doing this for a long long time, like at least 60 years? Let’s face it bro, it's not been pretty for those we call women, historically speaking. Not till too long ago they were basically considered property, and many didn't know they had the ability to speak and form words with their mouths. To be fair, they didn't grow tongues until like 100 years ago due to some sort of freak mutation or something. Probably due to those 5G antennas.  Anyway, we seem to be paying them less, or so I'm told. I'm naturally a helper so I came up with a solution that will have women making MORE MONEY OVER NIGHT than their male counterparts! Here's how.

Let’s say tomorrow, or if you are reading this tomorrow then that would be today, so today as a collective we decide to reverse the sex/gender labels? What do I mean? Simple, from now on those who we used to call men we will now call them women and those we used to call women we shall call them men. All documents, driver’s license, birth certificates, etc. will reflect this change effective immediately. Nothing really changes about our anatomy; we simply switch the labels. It’s call rebranding, and corporations have been doing it for like ever. It’s kinda like changing the label on the bottle, but the soda is the same inside. So by doing this, women will literally be paid more than men over night! Genius idea, I know. You’re welcome.

Listen, if this idea sounds completely absurd to you then think of it this way: at one point in history, people who you never met and never consulted with you decided that we were going to use these two labels’ "men" and "women." So, who’s to say we can't change who gets each label? From now on if a baby is born with a penis, it will read female on their birth certificate and if a baby is born with a vulva, then they will be a male. Done. Easy Breezy. This thing where there are only two sexes/genders is called the gender binary and many if not most people believe it to be the law of the land, they can't even imagine there being anything but men and women in this world...that is until they hear about the existence of folks we call hermaphrodites/intersex. What the what? How much do they get paid, right? For many, if not most of them, the cost of being themselves comes with huge pain.

Let me ask you this: How old were you the first time you remember someone telling you what sex you are? Did you ever question them, or did you just accept that you are the sex they said you were? I mean let’s face it, you didn’t come up with this concept of sex/gender, someone had to tell you what sex you are. And then whether you were aware or not you had a choice to accept that definition of sex/gender or to reject it. Many kids simply accept it because it’s what the grownups tell them. And you know, grownups are supposed to know more, and they make the rules and stuff, because they are bigger and stronger. But guess what? If you are reading this it means you are probably a grownup by now, at least on paper. Just like on paper you are either Male or Female.

So, there you have it, grownups came up with the gender binary concept like a million years ago when they were walking around riding on dinosaurs. Many people buy into it, and many get freaked out when another group of grownups come up with a weird confusing term like Non-binary! What the what? What does that even mean?

It is customary when bringing up the term “Non-binary” to first roll your eyes, give a huff and a puff, and say “this is complete nonsense, there is only male and female. God created man and woman, period. But only women get a period. The term non-binary is a made-up term by Socialist Liberals trying to indoctrinate our children so they can be violated and made sterile.” So, what does the term Non-binary actually even mean? And more importantly how can you be so sure YOU’RE not Non-binary?

Remember them intersex folk I mentioned earlier? An intersex person might be born appearing to be female on the outside but having mostly male-typical anatomy on the inside. I'm not making this up, ask a doctor they'll tell you and show you some photos. These are real folks among us who in most cases have a very painful discovery period where they learn of the mutilation the “grownups” gave them as a baby. I ask you, in your eyes, is an intersex person male or female? That question is a binary question. You see, I only gave you two options from which to pick from. An intersex person, by definition, is both male and female, or they are neither since they don’t quite fit the typical binary...and when we think of chromosomes, you know, those tiny Bill Gates microchips we all carry around inside us, do we not typically have half of them from a male and half from a female? So, are we not in essence half man half woman? And if we are all the product of two individuals then how can anyone be non-binary, or binary for that matter?

Listen, I know your monkey brain hurts like a lot right about now, sorry. It's not your fault, it's the whole monkey see monkey do thing that we do. I’m sorry to crash your party while you were just playing along with the status quo. Btw the term "status quo" is that thing when you update your Facebook status to "quo." If you don't have the quo option, it's because you haven’t installed the latest update which btw, will let the FBI know that you have COVID in a fishbowl.

My point is, if enough people tell you that all boys have a penis and all girls have a vagina, you’ll start believing it. It won’t even cross your mind to think that there are people born with both, or with neither, or with ambiguous genitalia. If the world tells you that you must “feel” like a woman because you were born with a vulva yet in order to do so you have to put on makeup, then you might believe it. If your parents beat you as a child because they found you wearing your sister’s dress you might start to believe that boys are not supposed to wear dresses. If when we circumcise girls we call it “female mutilation” but we don’t use the term “male mutilation” when we circumcise boys then you might think genital mutilation is done to only one group of children.

In conclusion, there are things in life we simply accept as being true and immutable, all along while we participate in propagating them. We may feel we are destined to play a role based on the physical attributes we came into this world displaying. It takes a brave mind to question our existence and how others treat us. It takes a radical mind to say, “I’m worth more than you know.”

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