OUT at Work
I don't know about you, but I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. So, if you're like me, there is some form of work you do for money. I often receive messages from men online offering me money to perform tasks that, although I excel at, I have no interest in performing for and/or to them. It's for this reason you won't see me working a corner. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I fully support sex workers if that's the career path they've chosen, but it's simply not for me...unless all my clients look like they came straight out of GQ magazine and are willing to pay premium rates. I mean, we're talking no less than $5,000 for a dinner date (just dinner), $20k for a HJ, $50k for a BJ, $100K to top you, and $500k for me to bottom. lol
In other words, I have a day job.
Now that we've established that I'm not a sex worker you may ask, what is it that I actually do for money? Four days a week you will find me with my nose deep in excel sheets, bridging communications between Asset Managers, the Analytical, and the Operational teams at one of the top three Credit Rating Agencies all while developing and enhancing processes and workflows. NINETEEN years at the same company and counting! I've been told I'm pretty good at my job, but hey, lets stay humble.
It can be difficult for some folks to "come out" at work regarding their sexual orientation or gender identity. Unfortunately, coming out at work means harassment from colleagues and management, and for some unfortunate few it can mean termination. To this day in 2022 it is still illegal to be openly a part of the LGBTQ+ community in certain parts of the world. If you're fortunate like I am to be living in a place like New York City you know that although you are protected by law, maneuvering "coming out" of the closet at work can be challenging.
Many if not MOST employers have a dress code. If you're familiar with work dress codes you know they are usually quite binary, differentiating between what men and women can and can't wear during working hours.
Binary dress codes don't and never have worked for me. So when I show up to the office I give them my full self. That being said, I of course keep my attire toned down and office appropriate.
Business is business and when I prep to go into the office I remind myself of this. I bring my whole self to work while still "softening" my appearance and gender expression so that the focus is on the work I provide and not on the other facets of my life. I'm flexible with pronouns and understand that folks once they get to know me won't care about them as long as we get the job done and have fun in the process.
My final tip: Take advantage of your company's ERG (Employee Resource Groups). If your company doesn't yet offer an LGBTQ+ ERG then consider starting one yourself. We are often the minority in most companies but you'll be surprised how starting an LGBTQ+ ERG will not only bring together folks from our community but it will also bridge the gap with our allies. An ERG can turn the workplace from somewhere you have to frequent in order to make money, to a place you want to embrace for human connection.
Ok, enough of that, get back to work.