Am I an Orgy Person?

 

Self portrait Aug'06. Me and Me on Me

Last night I had a vivid dream. I was in a room where a full-on orgy was taking place. I walked around the room. In one corner a straight couple was getting it on. A few feet away a threesome was taking place. In the middle of the room were two pockets of naked bodies, men and women intertwined in  pleasure blobs. In total, I would estimate there were at least twenty bodies in full ecstasy. There I was, walking around as a witness to it all. Men and women, pleasing each other. Me, the only gender variant person in the room, not participating…unless you consider “voyeurism is participation” as the 2006 film Shortbus would tell us. I remember being an extra on the movie set of Shortbus feeling I was in the presence of “my people.” However, in my dream I felt alienated. I woke up wondering what was holding me back from joining in the festivities. Am I not an orgy person, I asked myself?

This is the part where I must disclose that I’ve participated in several threesomes in my almost forty-four years on Earth. Some were unexpected. Some were downright messy. To numb my nerves for one of my threesomes I drank myself to the point of throwing-up prior to jumping in bed with two other bodies. During that very threesome one of the two participants was a diabetic, so we rushed to give him some orange juice after climax to keep his sugar levels in check. It was an experience for sure. I can count my threesome experiences in one hand. I can count my orgy experiences in zero hands. Am I not an orgy person?

I woke up this morning asking myself why didn’t I jump into the dream orgy? Why when I saw so many naked bodies experiencing pleasure did I not insert myself into the fun? Why did I feel so alone in the presence of so many people? And would I have felt different had I been there with a partner? What if my partner enjoyed orgies more than I do? Would I be ok with the idea of my partner in life joining in an orgy while I refrained?

I’m the kind of person that encourages my partner to enjoy all aspects of life, but would I really be ok with coming home from work one day and learning that my partner was in an orgy which I didn’t participate in? The reality is that couples don’t do everything together, but is not participating in an orgy together a dealbreaker? I honestly don’t know. I’ve never been in that situation, not even in my dreams.

Fantasy and reality can be drastically different. Participating in an orgy might sound like a dream come true for some, but when one presents itself in a dream and we don’t join in what does it say about us? If your idea of a “fun person” is one that joins in an orgy, then maybe I’m not as “fun” as you think I could be. I respect the fact that you have had pleasurable experiences in orgies, but what if we are not all looking for that type of experience? 

 Life is a buffet. Life is there for the taking, but when I woke today, I asked myself, “Do I really want to experience an orgy before my dying day?” Maybe I’m not an orgy person, not that there is anything wrong with that. Maybe what I am seeking is an intimate physical connection with ONE partner. Maybe what is thrilling to me is to look at my partner in the eyes during sex and convey to them that we are in this together. We have each other. We care for each other’s physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing in this crazy world...well after the sex is done.

Sex in real life with the right partner can feel like a dream. They transport us away from all worry and daily stress. We share our bodies, we come together to make each other feel good. After we climax we feel a sense of belonging to each other.  With this in mind I ask myself are we wired to feel this way for others in an orgy? That is something I don’t’ know to be true. Maybe you know?